Flicker in the corner of my eye
I take a sip of coffee. And blink. The kind of blink that it seems like you opened your eyes a little bit more for a moment. A flash of light. And again. And it is starting to feel like I have something in my eye.
Sitting in the corner of the cafe, looking out. I am trying to think, mind wanders and I have a blank stare. And then, for just a moment I turn my head. There it is, this thing. This thing in my eye. In the corner of my eye.
A couple of tables away. A cell-phone is moving fast; on the table and then in this girl’s hand. Then on the table again, and then she picks it up. Table… Hand… Table… Hand… And the sun just bouncing off the screen between these movements for just a fraction.
For a moment, I get really angry with her…
I’m thinking of going to her, “Do you mind?! Why the fuck do you need to pick up your phone every 15 seconds?”
But it is not about her. Not even the light. It is the flicker in the corner of my eye. I feel something that’s not there.
I remember the conversation with you. We were talking about the future. Our future. I was telling you that I don’t know what will happen. I can’t know. I can only guess and hope. You were telling me that every time you blow an eyelash off my fingertip, you are wishing for my hopes to come true.
It was the same thing. In the corner of my eye, a child was swinging in that park. Perfect sunlight gleam, just a reflection in the chains of the swing. And every few seconds I was in the right position next to you, so I got flashes of warm and comforting sunlight in in the corner of my eye as I was listening to you:
“I will call you from the future…” you told me, after a short silence, “I will be in Japan in a couple of weeks, and then I will be half a day ahead of you. I will call you and I will tell you what it looks like in the future.”
Every day has its own feel to it. I know she won’t be in the future, but I like the thought that she is feeling the evening of the day that I am waking up to. I can see her sweet face and hear her soft voice telling me that everything was fine today. The same today that I have not yet seen.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but I am waiting a call from the past!”
