Retention > Recruitment: Keeping women in tech is the real battle
By Caitlin Willingham
Women’s History Month hits every March and with it comes a focus on the plight of women in the tech industry. Now, I’ve been a software developer for close to twenty years and, during all that time, I’ve tried to avoid reflecting on how it relates to me. I want to be recognized for being talented, not talented for a woman. I want to be known as an awesome software engineer and not singled out because of my gender.
This year is different. I’m now at a company where differences are celebrated, and emphasis is placed on bringing multiple viewpoints to the table. This diversity helped me realize just how much of an impact an individual’s contribution can make. Because of this, I feel comfortable sharing one of the most challenging experiences I’ve had as a woman in the tech industry: pregnancy and motherhood.
I preface my story by saying most of the articles I read regarding women in computer and tech fields want to address the problem of getting women into the sector. The lack of women in tech is something I had to grow accustomed to. Throughout most of my career, I’ve been the only woman developer on the team or, if there were other women, they were often in quality assurance or management. I am seeing more young women embracing development roles and coming from varied backgrounds, which makes me hopeful for the future.
This influx of younger women brings about another problem that I have yet to see touched on nearly as frequently as attracting more women in tech, retaining women in tech. We encourage and promote women to enter tech and once they land a role we queue the confetti cannons. In actuality, the vast majority of disparities and inequality happen during the job. The uphill battle women who are already employed and need to take leave (whether it’s due to having children, taking care of a sick parent, or something else) and those who want to come back from leave is steep.
Having a child while at my previous company brought the differences between me and my male coworkers into sharp focus. I remember awkward conversations with my male manager about HR and maternity policies. There were jokes toward the end of my pregnancy about when I was going to “pop”. I felt pressure to come back at the end of eight weeks post-partum to make sure I was not forgotten. To top it all off, I had post-partum depression which only enhanced my feelings of inadequacy.
While some of the men I directly worked with were extremely supportive (even going as far as to help me find cake when I had a craving), management was less so. Whether it was because I was in a consultant role embedded at a client site or due to company culture, there was a great deal of pressure to perform and promote the company ideals, which were rooted in deadlines and tight turnarounds. Despite all of this, I stayed with the company and, two years after my son was born, I became pregnant again.
Unfortunately, this pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. My team lead at the time was a woman and extremely understanding. I ended up missing a chunk of time at the client site and was going through an immense roller coaster of emotions. Without her, I would have been completely lost. However, despite my direct manager knowing about the miscarriage, I still ended up with a negative review and was threatened with a performance improvement plan. The final straw was when I went to talk to the head of my department to get more feedback on the review and explain the circumstances.
His idea of a suitable place to have this talk was the bar downstairs since all the small meeting rooms were taken up in our office. Suffice it to say, I went home crying. Time and time again my feelings and experiences were invalidated by my male superiors. My situation, to them, was something that needed to be handled instead of understood. I am sad to say it took me as long as it did to begin my search for a new job.
While each individual experience is different, I know these challenges in the workplace faced by pregnant and postpartum women are common. Access to affordable childcare, lack of flexible work schedules, and a general sense of imbalance between work and life are commonly cited reasons women developers leave the workforce. A few months after starting my search, I found a position where I could be fully remote. In my new position, I could have the flexibility to take my son to his doctor’s appointments, avoid a long commute, and still maintain a work/life balance. This change has not only improved my ability to care for my family but has made me better in my position. Knowing that the company I spend 40 hours a week with is understanding and validates my needs outside of the office makes me more inspired and productive in my day-to-day.
I feel that, if more women were offered this kind of flexibility, the retention problem would be reduced, and the industry would benefit from the unique perspective offered by motherhood. I now know that my experiences led me to realize what I am deserving of, and I hope this personal account can help others do the same. My hope for the future is that no woman is made to feel guilty or inadequate for her decision to have a child. While educating the men in charge is a suitable solution, the long-term goal is to have leaders look more like me and less like them. Unfortunately, this may not happen organically, so we must continue to persist, for all the women who will come after us.
