Best Clown in Coo Coo School

Marvin

[Marvin is 8 years old, and a student in the third grade at Buena Vista Horace Mann. His story recently appeared in 826 Valencia’s latest chapbook, One Ostrich Egg & Your Body.]

In twenty years, I want to be a clown. My hair is going to be rainbow-colored. My face is going to be white and I will be the most famous clown in the world. Everyone will want me to work at their birthday parties. I will sing the McDonald’s song every time. Police officers will take me everywhere. I will sell my long shoes at Target and they will cost a hundred dollars. I will also sell clown shoes at Old Navy (little shoes too) and those will cost forty dollars. There will be hats for sale too. I will make sweaters with a picture of me meeting Kaepernick at the 49ers game at Candlestick Park. There will also be red and blue pens for sale. It’s going to be awesome and it’s going to cost $200. I will make black spider socks for $1,000 and sell them in the Mission. In the end, people will buy all of my things—kids, adults, all kinds of people! After I sell everything and collect my cash, I will go home. There will be so much money that I will not know how to count all my cash, so I’ll go to the cash store to get some help counting.

Being a clown means being hyper a lot. With all my money I can eat at Paola’s Bakery. Paola’s Bakery has a lot of good ice cream.

To become a clown, I went to Coo Coo School. There, they taught me how to be coo coo. Everybody was a nerd except for me. I was the most coo coo of them all.

To be a clown, you have to be big. My teacher and I ate a lot until we got fat. We ate pizza, Popeyes, and popcorn.