The Ultimate Act of Love is Leaving A Will
I was running errands on Saturday, May 6th when a call came in from my college roommate who’s been living in Hawaii for the past decade. I hadn’t heard from him in a few months, and I shouted “Jonny Olson!” into the phone, delighted to hear from him.
“Dodge is dead.”
A few seconds of silence passed as my mind shifted from delight to devastation.
“Shit!” I couldn’t muster up a better response.
Dodge, like Bono and Madonna from his same era, always went by a single name… as icons do.
Just 20 months earlier, my wife Tawnya and I tended to Dodge in our home for two weeks as he recovered from medical issues related to his alcoholism. He had nowhere else to go. After a few weeks of tending to him in our home, with the help of many friends, we eased him back into life. The aforementioned Jon Olson and another friend, Mark Berwick flew in from Hawaii and Oregon to help clean up his house, get his business in order and generally get him on the right track.
It lasted, until it didn’t.
Even though there were (and are) hundreds of us who loved Dodge and cherished spending time with him, he always felt alone. He shared that fact with me during one of our deep conversations when he was recovering in my home. He wasn’t married, wasn’t dating, had no children and had no family in Nebraska where he’d lived for the past four decades.
And I suspect partly because he felt alone, he left no written instructions of any kind, not even a will.
The death of a friend is an unbearable loss, a rupture in the fabric of our lives that leaves an indelible scar. The pain of loss is hard enough on its own. Maybe Dodge didn’t leave a will because he didn’t think anyone would care, or maybe he just didn’t get around to it. Whatever the case, I have no doubt that he would be mortified to the extent that those of us who were closest to him had to turn our lives upside down to take care of his estate.
This experience has sparked in me the profound importance of having a will. Not “some day”, but today. Contrary to common belief, a will is not only for octogenarians and those with sprawling estates. If you own any personal property — even if it’s just a car, a savings account, or a 401(k) plan — you need a will.
According to a survey by Caring.com, more than 60% of American adults don’t have a will. This figure is alarming, especially considering that, per the Federal Reserve, more than 80% of people over 21 years of age own some form of property. The same source reveals that over 50% of those have retirement accounts, and more than 37% own a home. These assets, even if they seem modest, can lead to complex (and occasionally contentious) transfer of assets.
Hold My Beer
If you’re old enough to enjoy a beer legally in the U.S., you’re old enough to need a will. Having a will helps prevent the stressful and emotional chaos that can ensue in your absence. It safeguards your assets and ensures they go to your chosen beneficiaries. It brings clarity to your wishes, helping your loved ones navigate a painful period without the added burden of legal and financial uncertainties.
The good news is that creating a will has become more accessible than ever. Companies such as FreeWill have simplified this process to an extent where drafting a will is no longer a daunting task. FreeWill offers free online tools to create a legally valid will, an opportunity everyone should seize to ensure their loved ones are spared the unnecessary anguish of unsorted affairs.
I can’t help but wish Dodge had taken advantage of such a service. The pain of losing him was agonizing enough; the added pressure of disentangling his life made it even more challenging. It’s an experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
Dodge’s untimely demise and the ensuing chaos were profound reminders that life is unpredictable, but how we prepare for the unforeseen is within our control. Drafting a will shouldn’t be viewed as a morbid reflection on death, but rather as an act of love — the ultimate expression of our responsibility and affection towards those we hold dear. Our proactive measures can ease the burden we might unintentionally impose on our loved ones in an already difficult time. It is never too early or one’s assets too insignificant to consider the process of writing a will. The legacy we leave behind is more than just material possessions; it is also the peace of mind we bestow upon our loved ones, helping them navigate their path to healing. By leaving a will, we are providing them with one last testament of our love and care, making their journey of mourning a little less painful. It is, indeed, the ultimate act of love.
Jay Wilkinson is the founder of Firespring and Cofounder of the Do More Good® Movement. His life’s mission is to cultivate his own consciousness and be a catalyst for others to do the same. He’s got a lot of work to do.
