What I’ve Learned About Relationships From Rip on Yellowstone
My wife Tawnya and I are not TV people. I’d guess that we’ve finished fewer than 10 multi-season television series over the past decade. As a result, we typically get to wait until a series has made all of its seasons available before we ever watch the first episode, which in turn makes it possible for us to binge watch an entire series without having to wait months (or years) for the next season to come out.
And binge we do.
Our most recent series is “Yellowstone,” the sprawling modern Western saga of the Dutton family set against the dramatic backdrop of their Montana cattle ranch. As we dove into the first season, available for streaming on platforms like Peacock, we found ourselves captivated by the complex interplay of loyalty, power, and land rights — a microcosm of the American frontier spirit, reimagined for the 21st century.
In the rugged and tumultuous world of Yellowstone, the character of Rip Wheeler stands out. There are entire chatrooms and podcasts dedicated to his character. I know many women (including my wife :-), who have a massive crush on him. Let’s be honest — Cole Hauser (the actor who portrays Rip) never made a list of the most handsome men in the world before landing this part. His appeal is different. It’s deeper. It appears to me that the reason he is so attractive — beyond being tough and resilient — is that he is a paragon of patience and understanding, particularly in his relationship with his wife, Beth.
Through watching Rip, I have extracted valuable lessons about maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship with my own wife. Here’s what I’ve learned:
1. Patience is Paramount: Rip’s patience with Beth, regardless of how unreasonable she may be, is the cornerstone of their relationship. Relationships often endure strains, and having the patience to navigate through your partner’s difficult moments without judgment is vital. It’s about understanding that everyone has their moments of irrationality and not letting these instances define the relationship.
2. Unconditional Support: Rip’s approach to supporting Beth, even when he doesn’t agree with her actions, teaches us about unconditional love and support. This doesn’t mean blindly endorsing wrong behavior, but rather choosing to stand by your partner when they’re vulnerable. In public, Rip is unwavering in his support, a testament to the strength of their bond.
3. Respectful Disagreement: Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but Rip’s manner of handling these moments is noteworthy. He never calls Beth out in public, choosing instead to discuss contentious issues in private. This approach respects both partners’ dignity and ensures that disagreements don’t escalate into public spectacles. It’s a reminder that how you disagree is as important as the disagreement itself.
4. Letting Your Partner Be Themselves: Rip allows Beth to express her emotions freely, never shaming or attempting to change her. This level of acceptance is crucial in relationships. It’s about loving your partner for who they are, including any flaws and eccentricities, and not trying to mold them into your ideal.
5. Having Your Partner’s Back: Loyalty is another key theme in Rip’s relationship with Beth. He defends her and takes up for her, showcasing a deep sense of loyalty and protectiveness. This behavior illustrates the importance of being your partner’s advocate and protector, even when it’s challenging.
6. Privacy and Respect: Rip’s decision to address issues privately with Beth highlights the importance of maintaining a respectful boundary between your private and public life. It’s about handling conflicts internally and not letting external opinions sway the dynamics of your relationship.
7. Unwavering Commitment: Rip’s relationship with Beth is a powerful example of unwavering commitment. Despite the turbulence and challenges they face, his dedication never wavers. This level of commitment is the bedrock for any long-lasting relationship.
8. Confidence Balanced with Consent: Lastly, Rip’s confidence (both in and out of the bedroom) creates a strong physical and emotional connection with his wife, Beth. The power of self-assurance and assertiveness is an attractive trait in men, but only when balanced with consent, respect, and clear communication. Sometimes, you’ve just gotta lift her up in a passionate embrace and set her on the kitchen counter :-).
Rip Wheeler is more than a compelling figure on television; he’s a model of relational wisdom. His interactions with Beth, laden with challenges yet bound by unwavering support and understanding, underscore the essence of a robust partnership. The virtues of patience, unconditional support, discreet conflict resolution, acceptance, loyalty, steadfast commitment, consent and confidence are vividly demonstrated through their dynamic.
These lessons, drawn from a fictional world, hold profound relevance in our real-life relationships, reminding us that the strength of a bond lies not just in shared joys but in how we navigate the trials together.
Jay Wilkinson is the founder of Firespring and Cofounder of the Do More Good Movement. His life’s mission is to cultivate his own consciousness and be a catalyst for others to do the same. He’s got a lot of work to do.
