Whatever happened to civility?
America seems to be going in the wrong direction.
by Jay Wilkinson
A lot has been said about how divisive America has become. We protest over injustice, express frustration with opposite-minded people, and squabble over political and social views. Often for good reason. We find refuge in the company of like-minded people. Again, for good reason. Some of us become complacent, not wanting to get involved, and others dig a trench and go on the offensive.
Somehow, at some point, going on the offensive has evolved into an uncomfortable form of hater-tainment with many no longer feeling it necessary to hide behind a pseudonym when spewing their negativity.
One cannot drive across Lincoln today without spotting the occasional “F*ck Trump” or “F*ck Biden” flags displayed proudly on lawns or bumper stickers. And it’s not just political rancor.
On February 8, 2022, the Lincoln Journal Star posted an online article on Facebook where Dr. Tom Osborne was asked how he felt about the suggestion that the University of Nebraska allow alcohol to be sold in Memorial Stadium (which the Regents later voted to allow). He responded:
“I’ve always felt when you throw alcohol into the mix, it changes the nature of the audience. And so I would certainly advise them to think this over very carefully.”
And while the vast majority of the more than 500 comments supported Dr. Osborne, the trolls came out in force:
“Your time is done Tom. Thanks for what you did but go yell at kids for walking on your lawn or something. Good lord this has to be the biggest fun hater known to man.”
“Someone needs to put him in a home already”
“God just die already and take your old ideas with you.”
Dr. Osborne didn’t speak at a press conference or release a statement. He was merely asked his opinion by a reporter and was subsequently skewered in the comments by people who behaved as if he was attacking them personally. And these are people with real profiles and real names, apparently feeling no shame.
Whatever happened to civility?
The word civility extends from the Latin civilis meaning “relating to citizens.” Its earliest use was related to being a good citizen. As such, civility is associated with the notion that you owe society more than it owes you.
America’s history is rife with examples of political, social and business leaders who demonstrated respect for others as they sought common ground. But it’s not as simple as our grandparents made it sound — ie… “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” There are too many situations where it is important to stand up for what we believe in. But it is possible to take the high road when doing so. It is a choice to be a beacon for tolerance, respect and civility. Whenever I come across a human who is able to remain civil when faced with incivility, I stand in awe and admiration.
And while I’m not always successful, I strive every day to be a positive example of exhibiting good citizenship. I feel that I owe it to society.
Jay Wilkinson is the founder of Firespring and Cofounder of the Do More Good Movement. His life’s mission is to cultivate his own consciousness and be a catalyst for others to do the same. He’s got a lot of work to do.
