🐰🎵 Ears to the Ground 🎵🐰

Greetings, cubicle dwellers and corner office cravers! It’s your fluffy CEO, Kenny, back with another ear-resistible edition of “Ears to the Ground.” This week, we’re diving into the age-old battle of the bands: Human Headbangers vs. Bunny Bops!

Now, I know you two-legged types think you’ve cornered the market on musical taste, but let me tell you, these long ears aren’t just for show. They’re finely tuned instruments capable of detecting the slightest carrot crunch from a mile away AND appreciating the nuances of a well-crafted melody. So hop to it, and let’s see how your playlist stacks up against mine!

My human assistant (bless their misguided heart) insists on including some of their “metal” picks, still moping about Ice Nine Kills’ cancelled show last weekend. Seriously, you’d think someone stole their last carrot! News flash, hooman: there are plenty of other fish in the sea… or should I say, plenty of other bunnies in the warren? Maybe next time, try getting tickets to a real show. You know, something with more hops and less… whatever this is. Anyway, brace your fragile eardrums, here we go:

1. “Funeral Derangements” (Funeral for my ears, maybe. My human’s favorite? I’d hate to hear their least favorite!)
2. “Stabbing In The Dark” (The only thing being stabbed here is my patience. How much more of this can a bunny take?)
3. “Hip To Be Scared” (Hip to be scared? More like hip to be squared. This bunny’s too cool for school.)
4. “The American Nightmare” (More like “The American Snooze Fest.” Wake me up when the horror is over!)
5. “The Shower Scene” (Shower? Please. We rabbits know how to keep clean without all that drama. A little self-grooming goes a long way!)
6. “Thank God It’s Friday” (Thank God it’s over, more like it! Is every day Friday in this horror show?)

Now, let your ears feast on some REAL music. Kenny’s picks of the week, guaranteed to get your cotton tail twitching:

1. Frank Sinatra — “My Way” (Because I run this burrow my way. Old Blue Eyes had nothing on these baby browns.)
2. Queen — “Don’t Stop Me Now” (Try stopping a bunny on a mission! Especially when that mission involves raiding the break room for snacks.)
3. ABBA — “Dancing Queen” (More like Hopping King, am I right? You can dance, I can hop. The hopping’s better.)
4. Elton John — “Rocket Man” (Rocket Bun, burning out his fluff up here alone. Sometimes being the boss is lonely, but the view from the top of the hay pile is worth it.)
5. David Bowie — “Starman” (There’s a Starman waiting in the sky… It’s me, your celestial CEO! Bowie might have had Ziggy Stardust, but I’ve got Zigzag Stardust — my signature hop move.)
6. Michael Jackson — “Thriller” (Because my dance moves are scary good. You think the moonwalk is impressive? Try it with four feet!)

So, what’s it gonna be this week, hoomans? Ready to trade your head-banging for some ear-flopping classics? My playlist will have you doing the bunny hop in no time! And let’s be real, the bunny hop is way better for team building than whatever that mosh pit thing is you do.

Remember, while music might soothe the savage beast, it’s carrots that fuel the brilliant boss. A balanced diet of leafy greens and sick beats is the key to success in this warren we call an office.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got some serious grooving to do in my executive playpen. These paws don’t gonna gonna shake themselves! Catch you on the flip side, workspace warriors. Keep those tunes pumping and those TPS reports hopping!

Thumps and bumps, Kenny 🐰✌️

P.S. Next week, we’ll discuss the importance of a good thumping bass line in boosting productivity. Spoiler alert: It’s all in the hindquarters!

P.P.S. Oh, and heads up, my loyal subjects! My human (you know, the one who thinks they’re in charge) will be posting later today about their other favorite bands. Apparently, there’s more to their musical world than what we’ve covered here! They’ll probably try to defend their questionable taste in music. But hey, we can’t all have ears as refined as mine! Stay tuned for that riveting exploration of more human headbanging. I can hardly contain my excitement… or is that just my natural twitchiness?