Tips on Searching for a New Job with Your Current Employer’s WiFi

A.K.A Dissatisfaction is a Bastard!

Young Ninjas Only!

When you get your first job right out of school, it will be the stuff of legends; the reason behind your Nigerian mother’s hastily choreographed dance, complete with shaky singing and misty eyes.

If nepotism had any part in casting the job into your lap you will be, especially, expressive about how God simply did it.

Your testimony will start with statements like “didn’t deserve”, “was not qualified” and feature the salient exclamation of whatever equals “but God!” in your vocabulary.

If it was a job that you sought out, logging those files old fashion style or sending those emails with new school cred, you will be a little more subdued, gratitude and relief mixing together to make you humble.

There are other reactions on this spectrum, of course, but the summary is — there is nothing quite like a first job.

The jitters, the excitement, the burning desire to prove yourself; this job is your first and like all firsts, you swear that you will love it forever.

In most cases, your job will introduce you to its friend, WiFi, early on. WiFi will start out as a business only friend; you will use it for office correspondence, for finishing official tasks and maybe, once in a while, for sending a personal email.

On a slow work day, you will expand that usage to social media and gossip blogs and then it won’t be long until you are downloading whole movies and watching YouTube videos like a boss.

One day after work, while having drinks together, your friend will let it slip that her mother’s, brother’s, uncle’s, daughter is getting paid twice as much as you are for a job that suddenly becomes more interesting than yours.

The next day at work, you will see five separate articles on bosses who have given their employees large bonuses or a time share in Tampa or a trip to the Bahamas. Forbes will also release their annual list of the Richie Rich's on that day because why not?

Then there’ll, of course, be those inspirational images, one of which will have these famous words; “If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to build theirs.”

At this point you are about to get acquainted with all the leading job sites in your location.

This slow fade into sleuth-level job searching will start with you simply seeking to update your CV…because who knows? At the end of that road, however, is searching for new jobs on your current employer’s WiFi and we have got some tips on how you should go about that.

Seriously fam, get a notebook, you ready?

Listen closely, Ninja.
  • Dim the lights Kim! Send all eyes that dare to peer into your shenanigans to the sunken place
  • Intermittently hiss at your screen Chris! Let everyone believe that what you are doing is really irritating you.
  • Be smart Pat! Use an incognito tab for this high-risk mission. Remember that it doesn’t hide your browsing history from your employer but it sure as hell saves you the stress of having to log out of anything.
  • Friend make sure of this one! Don’t be logged into your official gmail account when using the office WiFi to google job related stuff. Double trouble alert! Besides saving on your computer, it saves on your gmail history and then your boss can see everywhere you visited.
  • This final one is most important! DON’T. DO. IT!

Come on Bob! There’s such a thing as office culture. Even if everything now sucks, you once loved that old job very much. Leave it with some dignity!

Until next time, definitely, use your work WiFi to stalk our Instagram.

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