We seem to have a job opening(s) here

The apocalypse didn’t come. It was supposed to come. We had the omens, the signs, the somber warnings, the prayer meetings, the hysteria, masses breaking down in public, the looting, vandalism, screaming, begging. And more.

They said it was years away, but it was coming. And they said to continue as we are. To uphold humanity’s spirit before the inevitable happened. To continue like always in the face of the great depression.

People tried. We tried. I think we really did. I think as a race we showed our fabric, the moral fibre we so often speak of. At least early on. There was that world religious leaders event, one where all the religions from all across the world gathered. And almost everyone came. It got pretty emotional. We thought it would end in catastrophe, but it didn’t. It was a pretty powerful thing that happened there, you know? These people had to fight years of hate and anger to reach out and hold each others hands like that.

The terror strewn regions were the last to relent. There was that one video where a wall of Christians were slowly engulfing a Muslim fanatic, to hug him, not to harm. He cut down a few of them but they kept coming. And then that man finally broke down. Emotional stuff.

The world forgot about countries for a while, there was talk of opening up borders, of finally making the great one nation state. But it didn’t pan out exactly like that. Still, the leaders kinda decided that all wars will be suspended immediately.

There was fighting though, but it happened later.

You know, when you kinda tell people about the impending apocalypse moments before the shit hits the fan, there’s only so much you can do. But this time there was a leak and growing evidence and…well everyone knew well before time what was about to happen. And we are talking a couple of years.

So in the first six months a lot of things began to change. The first thing to change was the average world perspective.

There’s a giant meteor heading your way, the world will be ashes and dust soon enough. So after you’ve found out that there is no Bruce Willis in Armageddon like thing that can happen or will happen, when the world basically figured that this was really going down, well, things changed.

There were so many things that people had pending n their bucket lists, things that they hadn’t thought about or didn’t think about doing anytime soon. Hell, some people didn’t even have a bucket list.

So when the whole religious thing was happening, and the whole world leader thing was happening, and also the scientists and engineers wondering what they could do, a show became quite popular all across the world. It’s really stupid what I am about to tell you, I know, but that’s what happened. It was a show called ‘How to Live Before You Die’.

Now this was a stupid show where a husband and wife went about the world in a sailboat and asked people for money to fund their adventure, and really just a stupid, stupid show. They tried to sell it to Discovery and National Geographic but couldn’t. Production quality wasn’t great, the premise was terrible, and they were god awful sailors.

And also, the show was being created before the world knew of the apocalypse. But once the world knew, the show became popular like wildfire on youtube. The show had one thing going for it, and that was how genuine it was. These were no super models trying to do something radical, this was just two bumbling people fighting and trying to live the good life.

Something about the show spoke to the masses, and well, the idea kind of caught on.

So the reason the world leaders rejected the whole one country theory was that the apocalypse hadn’t actually happened, and the world still needed its basic economy to function, and workplaces to…well work. Administrative tasks still needed to be done. They needed people to stay in the cities. So when after 6 months the world in general was coming to the conclusion that, okay, nothing can happen, and the show was getting more and more popular giving ideas to everyone in the world…well drugs became free.

Drugs were already on the uptake, but now they were legal…and free. Especially cannabis, which was pretty much everywhere and being almost exclusively manufactured in most places. There was no need for any surplus crops anymore so…yeah, cannabis it was.

It did have some effect, but people started quitting their jobs in droves. Travelling was made expensive, living became super cheap. People just up and left. Many industries pretty much collapsed since there was no work to be done.

Scientists of course kept trying to find solutions, but the market had collapsed a long time back and a lot of workers already were on the out and out.

Okay, at this point I am rambling but I will try and give a clearer picture now. The world was pretty shit now. Jobs on the down, industries collapsing on themselves but till about 6 months things were holding themselves pretty fine. It was after that show came out…that’s when people started leaving and that’s when things started getting messy.

Governments are always very reactionary, so first we had the drugs becoming free, next we had food supplies becoming centralised. So people could only get it from the government sourced agencies and nowhere else. There were no wars to fight at that moment, so troops were stationed at these shops. There was growing unrest among the masses. They wanted to leave now, and while it wasn’t all of them that wanted to leave, you make something tough for people to do, they wanna do that. It’s just human nature.

What followed was a dark period. Lockdown, anarchy, vandalism, raiding of supply stores, loyalties to abstract concepts like religion and country questioned. People began to die, there were public executions, law and order was breaking down even as the intake of drugs and alcohol increased. There was a reactionary prohibition put on the drugs, but by that time you had cities full addicts, so a bad move when pretty much everyone couldn’t take it anymore.

Even through all of this, ‘How to Live Before You Die’ kept on running. It ran for 2 more months and then someone had the bright idea to shut the show up by kidnapping the two people and have them preach to the public how staying in one place was the right move.

Those two, I don’t even remember their names now, became the revolutionaries of the revolt against the government. It got really random, you know? I’m pretty sure that couple never imagined anything like that happening in their lives, and I’m pretty sure they didn’t survive.

Well, this all out war was raged against the governments across the world, the internet was shut down which led to more outrage, then it was turned back on when people became more and more agitated in their drug fuelled states.

This continued for about 6 more months. And then the organised assault began. There were rumours of a space colony being made for the people ‘who mattered’. I think it was hogwash, but who knows? Who could rationalise with these drug addled civilians?

So, there was to be an organised assault, one where governments all across the world were toppled to give all citizens a chance. A lot of people signed up. A lot of people. The workforce at this point was reduced to shambles. So might as well, right?

It was a blood bath, and I’ll let your imagination run wild as to which side won. The one with weapons or the one without? Yeah, you can figure it out.

Anyway, post a worldwide Tiannamen Square type deal, things were quieter. A lot of friends and Jerry Seinfeld was on TV.

People had kind of gotten used to the idea of the apocalypse. ‘What’s the point?’ was thrown around a lot. This was a mass depression, alright. There was no abating it. This depressed crowd obviously pulsed with activity now and then, but…nothing.

I wanna tell you more, but I gotta cut things short here. So, today is Day 10 of the apocalypse not happening.

Day 10. It’s been 10 days since the world has known that there is no apocalypse coming our way, that there is no catastrophe in store. That asteroid? Well, it passed us right by. Some say Elon Musk saved the day, but I don’t believe it. I think it was something else. Then again, if you’d told me this story two years ago I wouldn’t have believed you. I would’ve snorted in your face. It’s just too ridiculous.

But this is what it is. 10 days ago someone made the observation that we still haven’t died, even though the date had passed a while back. No one seemed to notice. I had taken up a pious life a long time back, and so had stayed away from the hubris of the masses, but when I heard this I came back to civilisation to find out how the world was celebrating. To my horror I found nothing even remotely like that. The cities aren’t being run at all, there are almost no workers left, no administration, and those that are there are not in fit enough shape to be able to lead.

I have tried to reach out to other cities, other countries. I think some may be doing better than us, but then I don’t know.

I think I’m the only one in shape right now to take over control. I haven’t yet met someone who isn’t convulsing or dead.

I’m putting this out on the internet. And I’m putting this across the town. If you are someone who is reading this and are capable of work, and if you know someone who can work as well, please report to the Mayor’s office ASAP. There is work to be done but we just don’t have enough people. We need you, citizens of this city. The apocalypse isn’t coming, it is time to work. We needs farmers, we need electricians, we need plumbers, policemen, firemen. Come and let us make this city great again.

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Written in response to the following prompt:

“The end of the world is at hand. Everyone starts to tick off their bucket list, doing crazy things because they know it won’t matter in the long run. In an odd twist of fate, the crisis is averted. Now everyone has to live with the repercussions of what they did.”