i’m scared i made a mistake
i’m sorry i tried to move on without you
i didn’t give you a chance to catch up
and it’s kinda funny how you were always faster
quicker with your words to leave me silent
you’d brought out something i didn’t know much of
some serenity in a storm, the eye of a hurricane
some quiet in a chaos, and i never heard again
at least not in the same way
i listened in ways you taught me to
i didn’t talk back, i let myself lose
because it’s okay to lose a few rounds
and that’s something i know only now
make no mistake, i’ll never forget you
you gave me healthy when i had fallen ill
and i’m sorry i had to break us like china
but it’s not your fault i’d gotten sick again
no, this is a disease that’s always been in me
and i’m sorry it reared its ugly head
but you have to understand, this disease doesn’t define me
and those were some of the last things you’d said
right before “i miss you”
and i reflected you like a mirror
because the truth is
you’d left me speechless for one final time
/
i’ve never written about this part of love before
i’ve only written about what comes before
i’ve only written about the days
when i wished you would love me
i’ve only written about the nights
when i was scared of everything
and you talked me down
it’ll never be like that again
and the last words have been said
and the book’s come to an end
and i know we won’t write a sequel
because we’ve lost the pen
maybe i’ve taken it
just so i could pick it up again
and remember the words on the paper
the way you spoke so beautifully
there’s no other way to put it
we’re hollow and empty
and there’s nothing beautiful about the end
unless you’re watching it from the outside
maybe i should step outside
just for a breath of fresh air
it’s been a little muggy in here
