Well I finally got around to writing this. Uh basically I just want to express how much my girlfriend means to me

I have trouble really letting her know how much I do love her because words can only get so far

I come from a past of girls always using me as a rebound I suppose as relationships and I were like water and oil they just didn’t mix

I could point to points in time where a girl broke up with me because I went to sleep early or the time a girl didn’t want to be outright my girlfriend so that infact made me mad as I don’t like being in the limbo of talking to someone but not really being theirs in the fullest sense or I can point to the time where girls really just didn’t seem to like me

I’ve never really liked who I am because I feel an outcast from everyone and everything.

My family from my moms side is very Mexican pride and those lifestyles and that doesn’t really apply to me and my dads side is extremely religious and I never liked religion well that’s a story for another day

I’ve never liked who I am or what I’ve become I feel as if everyday i just wake up to waste time before I inevitably go back to sleep and repeat the process all over again

A dreaded cycle of agony of repetition smothered with unrealistic exprectations from myself and others

I became friendly with self hate and pity

I would be ok with calling myself a disappointment because at the time I didn’t have a comeback

I didn’t feel love

As I said before girls never really liked me or whatever it may be but I’ve always been told “how are you single you’re so kind and so and so is so great about you” but it just never happened

While yes you could point to my friends and family but their “love” didn’t let me feel loved I didn’t feel special to anyone I felt that if I killed myself I wouldn’t be relevant

Oh r.i.p osvaldo. And such but in reality no one would’ve been there when I was alive and you. Can’t even say oh it’s them paying respect because I didn’t hear from them before

I didn’t feel love and I didn’t love myself and I didn’t like who I was or who I was gonna become

But then I met her And suddenly everything changed

I suddenly found myself getting up in the morning with a purpose although it seemed silly at first, it propelled me it motivated me to become the best me for her

I didnt want to be or come off as this sad depressed kid to her so I worked on becoming happy and over time I was

I was so tired of girls using me as a gas station they would come and get what they wanted and then leave only to never return

I wanted someone who cared because I never got that My problems seemed irrelevant and I didn’t want my problems to be central either tho I just wanted someone to notice them and acknowledge them and if they could , possibly help me

She was that and so much more

She is so much more than perfect she is the reason I smile and she still propels me to become a better person

In the short time I’ve been with her I’ve never been more happy in my life

I’ve never felt the type of care that she has given me the type of characteristics about her that make me smile like how the way she smiles and her dimples show make me my heart melt or they way she’s passionate about things is amazing or the way she makes jokes that are sometimes dumb but make me smile She is perfect she is beyond gorgeous she is smart she is funny she is the one girl of my dreams the only thing I could compare her to is a diamond because she is as valuable to me and as gorgeous to me as diamonds are to the world I can’t believe I’ve been blessed with such a beauty and I hope she never leaves

I don’t know what I would do with myself if she did

I don’t think she would ever leave me as things are right now but I’m just so used to it I’m used to girls staying for like 1 — 3 months and then leaving for the next guy I just hope that’s not her intention

I just love her

I know how dangerous it is to rely on a single person to bring you a constant flow of happiness but I welcome it yes these maybe the early stages of a relationship but I still welcome it

I love her with every ounce of my being I just want to let everyone know that I’m blessed with such a girl and that she means the world to me and that I will always support and love her and everything about her is perfect and her imperfections are what make her all the more special to me and that I may act up sometimes but when it comes down to it I would do anything to keep you and keep you happy and that she may bug me and annoy me but it’s never too much because she at least is giving me attentions she’s choosing to spend time with me when she could easily say no and what not

I love you so much and I always will


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