On Ops, and Development

DevOps is so hot right now. Zoolander 2 may have been hot garbage, but part 3 is going to feature a DevOps engineer and a Data Scientist on a cat walk spraying each other with #BigData while VCs make it rain. That’s why they call it the cloud, you know. Fog doesn’t make it rain (note: next article idea: “LOL IoT; or: your mom’s Nest got hacked”)

So DevOps is the hot take of the now. How the fuck did this happen? I’m going to stop with the Zoolander quotes but I feel like I’m taking crazy pills. If you don’t know what DevOps is, imagine a group of IT pros at a bar. Get a good mental image. Ready? The DevOps guy is the one with the slightly longer pony tail using the words Debian more than anyone else. Does that help? No?

Fine. Developers write bad software. Ops engineers make the servers crash. Imagine someone who does both. And suddenly this role is cool? What happened? Alright let me google this real quick.

Ah, google happened. SITE RELIABILITY ENGINEERING happened. Suddenly the role of explaining to a bunch hype-driven engineers that a mongo replication set running in docker is a BAD IDEA© — is a cool role. My bad — it’s not the engineers you need to explain it to; its the VP of sales (née the CRO — the chief REVENUE ossifer) who doesn’t understand why you HATE MONEY and are HURTING COMPANY VALUES.

I write some python, I run some ansible, I debug node apps to figure out why your DB connection singleton is killing our postgres. I like debian, I run ubuntu at home because I like the color scheme. I’m going to write a bunch of real bad posts to discourage you from thinking DevOps is cool. It’s not.

DevOps is the ultimate blocker. Fuck those guys! Yeah, but those guys hold the authorized_keys to the fleet. Gather round, noobs.

These are my stories.

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