7 Floundering MLB Teams and the Cities They Should Relocate To

While a quick read through of Forbes would suggest baseball has never been healthier, that’s misguided. Baseball’s current state of well-being is like that of your hard working, small business owning Uncle who has never been richer. He’s invested his livelihood to get to this point of financial success and security. He now can travel the world and renovate all the rooms in both his houses. Life is good and he deserves everything he got. But his liver is shot, his blood pressure is sky high, and his relationships with once loyal family members are now faded into memory or humored at best because of his wealth. Uncle NFL and Uncle NBA are much healthier, in the same financial stratosphere, and have a greater likelihood of maintaining loyal bonds in the years to come.

Baseball has lots of problems with maintaining relevancy in America’s 21st Century. But its biggest problem is its oldest problem- baseball is made up of “clubs.”

Baseball teams are called clubs because, historically, they started out as exclusive social clubs. While that attitude built the game, the greatest moments of growth happened because of the decisions to “expand the club.” The removal of the color line and pilgrimage beyond the Mississippi towards the Pacific ushered in the zenith of baseball’s “Golden Age.” Would we have a Jackie Robinson if Branch Rickey stayed on track of the past? Or would we have the iconic World Series moment of a hobbling Kirk Gibson fist pumping in LA if the Dodgers stayed in Brooklyn? Afterall, what’s more American than growing up in one place and moving to another?

So, for the betterment of the league and the inclusion of the greater American landscape, I’ve come up with seven MLB teams and where I believe should relocate. The criteria are:

• One city only needs one team
• An organization may be better served to move to a new region of the country to remove themselves from their self-sabotaging ways of business
• Investing in cities with a bright future rather than sticking with cities because of their past

Here they are in alphabetical order of cities their moving to:

NEW YORK METS relocate to AUSTIN

Sorry Mets fan, but you know New York always has been and always will be a Yankees town. You’re not just the little brother- you’re the little step brother trying to measure up to the first born, Ivy League son (Yankees) as well as make up for the lose of the other two sons who moved out of the house (Giants and Dodgers) in a bitter argument. Yes, you’ve had wonderful moments. But your embarrassing ones seem endless in comparison. And they’re always highlighted by the consistent successes of the Bronx Bombers.

Feels odd moving from Queens to Austin? Don’t worry. Few people who live here are from here anyway. Austin is the most populated city in the country to not have a professional sports team, so in that regard, you’re closer to New York than New Mexico. While MLS will change that fact with the inclusion of the Austin FC in the Spring of 2021, they’ll surely be supported by the techies and hipsters. The UT Longhorns football team will always be the number one follow in the city, and you’ll be use to that! At least it’s an entirely different sport that won’t always be compared to you. Perhaps your stadium will be built in South Austin and draw some of the blue collar fanbase up from San Antonio.

Is it fair to have three teams in the state of Texas? Hell yes! Houston, Dallas, and Austin are all distinct cities in a massive state. You’ve got the Northeast contingent of Boston, New York, and Philadelphia. This is the same thing but in one state. And with Houston having moved over to the American League, bringing the Mets to Austin could restore the National League balance in the Lone Star State.

POTENTIAL NAMES: Austin Armadillos, Austin Bats, Austin Grackle

SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS relocate to LAS VEGAS

How can we move the Giants out of San Francisco?!? They have so much history in the Bay between the mid-2010s championships, the Barry Bonds highlight moments, and the perfection of Oracle Park right on the water!

First, the Giants are not from San Francisco. They’re from New York. The organization could honor their own history by achieving success and then moving to greener pastures. San Francisco is an awesome city. But Las Vegas might be another future American city with the high number of transplants.

Second, San Francisco wouldn’t have any World Series championships in its 63 years in the Bay if it wasn’t for those 3 championships of 2010, 2012, and 2014. Not exactly the St. Louis Cardinals. Own the fact you spent much more time losing there than winning.

Third, Oracle Park is indeed a treasure. But so was the Polo Grounds (in an “only a mother could love it” type way). And before Oracle, there was the swirling winds of Candlestick Park. The Giants are a nomad organization without one longtime home. If the Raiders can move out of the Oakland Coliseum and into the state-of-the-art stadium in Las Vegas, why couldn’t the Giants?

And speaking of Oakland, do we need to rip every sports team out of that city because of San Francisco’s 21st Century importance? The Warriors dynasty had one of the greatest runs and most loyal fanbases, so the ownership group rewarded the city by making the business decision to move into a new arena across the bridge. Leave the A’s in Oakland! They do have a colorful history from their 1970s championships. And they’ve had much greater influence on the overall state of baseball front office ops with the Moneyball movement of analytics than anything the Giants front office has done. Moving the Giants to Las Vegas would give them a familiar neighbor in the Raiders who have moved around from city to city as well.

Lastly, the way Texas would have the balance of 2 American League teams and 1 National League team also works with California then having 2 National League teams (Dodgers and Padres) and 1 American League team (A’s). Only feels appropriate the Texas and California share this spectrum while being on opposite ends.

POTENTIAL NAMES: Las Vegas Giants (“Giants” is too good to change to something like “Gamblers”).

CLEVELAND INDIANS relocate to NASHVILLE

The Indians feel like they should be in Cleveland because they always have been in Cleveland. It’s their home and the folks who support them are the epitome of a great fan base. But the sports history in Cleveland seems more indebted to the greatness of individual players (LeBron, James Brown, Otto Graham) than the accomplishments of teams.

Sadly, Cleveland’s sports history is more about leaving than winning: LeBron left twice; James Brown retired early; the greatest football coach in NFL history was there and got the boot. But all the great Cleveland Indians players never were all timers their entire time in Cleveland: Kenny Lofton; Manny Ramirez; Jim Thome; David Justice; Bob Feller (had to leave to serve in WWII); Francisco Lindor (is going to leave because he won’t get paid). Their past doesn’t paint much of a picture for a promising future.

The location doesn’t help them either. They’re wedged on the Great Lakes between better MLB franchises in the Detroit Tigers and Pittsburgh Pirates. As far as the state of Ohio, Cincinnati gets to keep the Reds. Cincinnati had one of the original eight MLB teams going back to the 1870s. You can’t rip an old club like that away. They’ve got the “The Big Red Machine” as well as the proximity to Louisville.

Nashville is like Austin and Las Vegas in the sense that it’s a fast-growing American city destined for 21st Century relevance. It’s an entertainment town with one of the best college baseball programs in Vanderbilt already proving that baseball will work. The old Houston Oilers moved there in 1997 and became the Tennessee Titans. The NHL then added the Nashville Predators one year later in 1998. It’s time Nashville add baseball to the “Music City” mix.

POTENTIAL NAMES: Nashville Mountaineers, Nashville Olympians, Nashville Pickers.

TORONTO BLUE JAYS relocate to NEW ORLEANS

The Covid 19 pandemic revealed the flaw of a professional sports league over expanding its reach outside its host nation. The fact that the Toronto Blue Jays were not allowed by the Canadian government to play games in Canada is politically understandable and competitively unforgiveable. No team should play every game on the road. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the 2020 Blue Jays are going through.

The Mississippi River has a long history of being the waterway connecting the Gulf of Mexico to Canada. Why not have that waterway import a mildly successful MLB franchise down to the Bayou? The Blue Jays wouldn’t feel the pressure to be the main attraction because they would fall into the New Orleans sports fandom line behind the Saints, LSU Tigers, and Zion Williamson. Add the fact that New Orleans, like Austin and Nashville, is a music town and baseball will find its own little niche in all the available entertainment.

Speaking of Zion, a physical beast of high light reel plays and baby fat, the best hitter in the Blue Jays lineup is Vladimir Guerrero Jr. His mass body index could rival that of Zion. And Vlad Jr’s swing put into his home runs are just as impressive and majestic as Zion’s put back dunks. Having a player like this as the face of the team would make the Blue Jays a quick like for the New Orleans fanbase.

The Blue Jays are accustomed to playing in a loud and boisterous dome in the Rogers Center. Could there be a better American fit than the Mercedes Superdome? You think Joe Carter’s game winner World Series homer was loud? Imagine the decimal volume of 50,000 plus fans infused with Hurricanes. And when it comes to food? One of the reasons people who don’t care about baseball go to baseball game is for the food. Many of the more modern stadiums have put greater resources into serving Instagram worthy food. New Orleans is always a top city for American food and baseball is the top sport for people to watch while eating unhealthy amounts of amazing cuisine.

POTENTIAL NAMES: New Orleans Blue Herons, New Orleans Blue Jazz, New Orleans Ghosts

CHICAGO WHITE SOX relocate to OMAHA

The Red Sox broke their 85-year championship draught and rebranded their importance to the sport. The Cubs broke their 107-year championship draught and solidified their importance to the sport as well as their claim over the city of Chicago. What happened after the White Sox broke their 87-year draught? It feels like a big story that hasn’t aged with much sentiment outside the South Side of Chicago. It even feels tainted in retrospect when one considers they beat the Astros when the Astros were a National League team. Unfortunately, lots of people and businesses are leaving Chicago. There’s no need for the Windy City to have two baseball teams when they have one sports team in each of the other major sport. And many would argue Chicago is a Bears town above anything else.

Omaha is a solid midwestern city with both rural and urban areas. Many locales who live there feel as if it’s viewed as a “fly over” city. The White Sox, in baseball history, feel like a “fly over” organization. The White Sox need to stay in a strong, Midwestern city that would fully embrace them. Unlike the other large market teams that could greatly benefit with a fresh start in a different pocket of the country, removing the White Sox from the Midwest would be like removing the apples from Apple Pie. Afterall, they were chosen to play in the now cancelled 2020 “Field of Dreams” game at famous the Field of Dreams stadium in Iowa. And Omaha is just a smidge west of that.

Omaha would proudly take on a professional sports team because it would be their chance to showcase their national relevancy. Omaha has a strong tie to baseball, having proudly hosted the College World Series every year since 1950. The city also has multiple fortune five hundred companies that would certainly utilize a major league ballclub as a fun networking opportunity. Places like Sacramento and Oklahoma City had little track record for national sport relevance before they were given thenchance to wildly supported their professional basketball teams. Omaha could be that for MLB.

POTENTIAL NAMES: Omaha White Sox (you want to maintain as much of the franchise as possible since it’s staying in the region)

TAMPA BAY RAYS relocate to ORLANDO

The Rays have spent the last 15 years as one of the best run organizations in MLB. Players and front office staff have gotten better jobs because of the work they did in Tampa Bay. What other MLB team has done more with less? The A’s, maybe. But there’s no way in hell the A’s would reach the World Series and have a hard time selling out game to that fanbase like Tampa Bay did in 2008. The Rays deserve a city better equipped at drawing attendance. And, with regards to running a business that draws people, Orlando is a much better Florida location.

Between Ybor City, the fishing in the Bay, the strip clubs (so I hear), and football crazed “Buc Nation” primed for the last 5 years of Tom Brady’s career (this guy is immortal), Tampa has more distractions that prevent the Rays from being supported. Orlando has no distractions. It’s the city that was built to attract people for means of entertainment. And baseball is one of our oldest forms of entertainment. If the Rays smart ownership group could find ways to partner up with Disney and strengthen the draw to see this ballclub, what a relocation!

The Rays current home ballpark is called “The Trop” and is widely viewed as a dump. It’s quite possibly the worst place to watch a game in the history of MLB. Plans for a new stadium are constantly wrestled over between the team, developers, and the city. But if Disney dipped into their piggy bank, what an impressive indoor ballpark they could build for this AL East club.

POTENTIAL NAMES: Orlando Rays (the “Rays” are a strong baseball brand with connection to the Florida “rays” of the sun. The name isn’t the problem).

LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF ANAHEIM relocate to SALT LAKE CITY

LA is a basketball town. I’d even say it’s more of a Dodgers town than a baseball town. The Angels just seem to be there solely because of the 2nd largest media market factor. Whenever I meet someone who’s a Mets fan, I get it. But when I meet an Angels fan, my first thought is “why?” So long, Angels! You’re going to a city with a passionate fan base that truly does believe in angels.

Salt Lake City is a different kind of beautiful than Orange Country. Very different, but beautiful no less. A retractable stadium with a Rocky Mountain back drop beyond the outfield walls could make formone of the most visited ballparks in America. Salt Lake City is another fast-rising city in 21st Century America, with many conferences bringing tourists into town as well. Having a state-of-the-art ballpark in a stunningly underappreciate city with the league’s best player in Mike Trout could be a big draw to get the franchise started.

Wouldn’t the Rockies be the team people traditionally follow in this region? Perhaps. But the Denver is a 7-hour drive east! In fact, Denver is in a bit of a no man’s land. What MLB team is north of Denver? None. What MLB team is west of Denver? Oakland (19 hours)! Northwest of Denver? Seattle (20 hours)!!! This move to Salt Lake City could bizarrely help strengthen MLB’s commitment to this region of the country. LA doesn’t benefit from having a second team, but the Rocky Mountains could. A Rocky Mountain rivalry could be a fun new side narrative of MLB.

Maybe people here are more likely to go fly fishing than go to a game. What better city to own a player with the name “Trout” than Salt Lake. He’s not getting the love in LA that he deserves. But sports in the 21st Century has proven any corner of the country can heighten one’s brand. Maybe taking Trout out of the ocean of LA and putting him into the pond of Utah would oddly give him the branding his GOAT talent needs. It’s bizarre. But it could work. Add that to the fact that it’s a community has a track record for passionate support of its team with the Utah Jazz and Salt Lake City seems like a shoe in.

POTENTIAL NAMES: Utah Angels (this is the land where residents DO believe in Angels).

So Uncle MLB, while you’re bank account is jaw dropping, you might want to think about reallocating your funds more than expanding your business. It could help reconnect you with the family you’re endanger of losing.