My story

Being in a relationship means that there’s another energy you have to consider in your bubble. If this energy is a strong one, it might take a little more mindfulness to be conscious of where your boundaries are. Shon has a particularly strong energy and while it is the very thing that attracts me to him, it is the very thing that destroyed our relationship. He was like a light and I was a moth. Even though he zapped the shit out of me, I was still captivated by his glow (ooooh ahhh). This month of being “alone”, not having to cater to anyone and their energy, I was able to see. The fog was clear and I could finally pinpoint the idea that I had to take care of me first. I started thinking about what I liked, what made me feel good, what made me happy, and how to follow my bliss. I drew self-portaits, painted, illustrated, ran, did yoga, fixed my bike, pitched a tent, went hiking, went on a date, etc. I did all this because I felt like it. In the end, it was clear that I still loved Shon. But I gained invaluable little nuggets of knowledge that I hope have been ingrained in me. It is my deepest belief that you never really know and learn something until you have experienced it. Although I’ve continued and will continue to read self-help and spirituality books, I take every piece of advice (even that coming from parents and friends) with a huge grain of salt. I let them know that I appreciate the advice, but when I learn my lesson, it wont be because their advice. It will most likely be because I failed and recognized that their advice was correct. Hindsight is 20/20 but it helps when you have a quotable to put two and two together. What I learned from not listening to my friends and family’s advice is that love is something you define. Passions are something you define. Happiness is something you define. It’s not anyone’s responsibility to give you the answers and it’s your responsibility to recognize that no one can give you these definitions. Sometimes one person’s happiness is small, stupid, and crazy. Don’t judge. Just accept and be grateful that there is one less person in the world that has a piece of their puzzle figured out. The journey to doing so isn’t an easy one.