The Costa Coffee Genie

What about this then. You’re sat in Costa Coffee reading ‘The Joke’ by Milan Kundera and sipping a scolding hot green tea. You cross your legs.

As you do, your Nike Internationals graze something. Out pops a ragged blue genie. He’s not the one from Aladdin though. He’s more of a Sports Direct version.

Shocked, you bend down and look under the table. Yep, there’s an old, decorative lamp there. You know what that means: genuine genie.

No-one in the coffee shop looks up from their phones. They either can’t see him or they consider his presence wearyingly passé. It has to be the first.

The genie speaks. ‘This surprisingly charming Costa Coffee just so happens to be built on the site of an ancient witch’s summer home. You have stumbled across a wonderful opportunity. Just say the word and I will allow you to walk out of this door and into the London of 2115 for exactly ten minutes. You’ll be able to fleetingly experience the future. Don’t speak yet. You have two minutes to decide.’

He vanishes.

You pick up your mug and burn your tongue. What an opportunity! A chance to see just how far human ingenuity will take us in the next century. Think of the technology you’ll come across. People could have their own floating pods. Pavements might be touchscreen. What will McDonald’s look like in 100 years? Triple cheeseburgers?! Imagine the stories you’ll have. The insights you’ll gather.

Unless… Unless you step into a barren wasteland. It could happen. You could walk out this well-furnished Costa Coffee and into a post-apocalyptic nightmare. Seriously! Who knows what disaster could occur in the next 100 years. Global warming might be real — and worse. A nuclear war? Some weird disease that kind of just brought everything to a standstill.

What then? You've only got to survive ten minutes. Yes. But how are you getting up to write copy in the morning when you know civilisation’s demise is just around the corner?

You take another sip. But it could the other way round: utopia. Little personal planes. Triple cheeseburgers. Everyone wearing a weird type of hat you've never seen before. That would be awesome.

The genie appears.

‘So? Will you be stepping into the future?’

‘You know what, Genie? I don’t think I will. If I see something bad I fear it would sap my ambition and sabotage my general mental wellbeing. If I see something great no-one will believe me anyway. I’m going to have to turn you down.’

The genie raises his mono-brow. ‘Your loss you little pussy. I’ll be back.’