A Decade of Running Around in Circles.
Are you a bystander, innovator or someone living in the dark ages?

The world is changing whether we like it or not. It took me a decade to learn, understand, experience and realise I have been all three and now it is the time to reset and start over.
I am a creative. I have a passion for art, design and creating things that are functional and aesthetically pleasing. Though in the past decade, I’ve voluntarily thrown myself into the deep end and had to learn to either swim or sink in the world of business management. There was no rules, guidelines, training or mentors but instead a long history and legacy of a wonderful businesswoman that people loved and adored — she was my mother.
I was in the ethnic newspaper industry and I was naive to think I can do it on my own. I knew from the beginning I need to incorporate digital into the space to bring the publication back into the twenty-first century. With my limited front-end development skills, I started creating a prototype homepage and the questions started to emerge: What content do we put up? When do we upload it? Who will upload it? Who will manage it? Who will view it? Why would they view it? What’s our USP? And the ultimate question…
How can we have the content online and not stab ourselves in the foot?
I realised the problem was much bigger and it involved understanding the depth and breadth of the business (something that I knew very little about). So the website idea was abandoned and I set forth to learn more about the company before tackling the digital scene again.
As time went by, I floated around the office from one department to the next, learning the processes and names of everyone involved. It took a bit of time to wrap my head around everything but with a bit of inspiration from Steve Jobs, I knew my next task.
I needed people to help me build my vision and brand.
I have come to realise the world has changed and the tables have turned. Consumers are the one deciding whom they will spend their money with (thank you internet) and the businesses need to listen before they become a thing of the past. This very same principal applies to recruitment. My mission was to rebuild the business vision and branding and I needed a team with people that could visualise the future and be my support. I needed to attract the people I wanted and bring them into a journey of mutual growth. But my market was niche and finding these people are like looking for a needle in a haystack with truckload of luck on your side.
For years, I’ve struggled and reflected on the days passed, questioning every decision made, the interactions, my personal behaviour and tried to find ways to improve and make things better. I’ve had my pitfalls, the road was hard and I wanted to throw in the towel. But then someone new came along and provided that glimmer of light in an endless tunnel, so I pushed on again and again and the pattern started to emerge…
I’m in a vicious cycle inside an isolated bubble while the world evolved and moved on without me.
Deluded by my own sense of self and the idea of being able to push through with hard work and tenacity, I soldiered on until I was stressed, tired and life was just another day. I have forgotten what it was like to be happy and became a slave to the day-to-day operations of the business. Physically and mentally exhausted. I needed to get out before I was devoured from inside out.
I discovered I was the square peg trying to fit into a round hole by convincing others they were the same and we needed a square hole. The term cultural fit came to mind and I finally understood the meaning of it. I have tried to change people’s mindset and behaviour and it was a task too difficult (and maybe impossible) to achieve. It was a hard decision — to leave behind something you have put your heart and soul into for so many years, but it was a step I needed to take to find myself and learn to enjoy life again.
So I took the plunge and left the business to pursue a new career in the world of UX.
