My Passion for Guy Fieri

I’ve been watching The Food Network for over a decade. The Food Network has become so deeply ingrained within my psyche that whenever I describe a recipe I’ll say “how easy is that?”, just like Ina. Once, I got very upset when a friend told me that Ina and Geoffrey were getting a divorce (they’re not). I’ve watched so many shows with Bobby Flay that I’ve found myself thinking “I’d hit that”. I like almost every meal I eat to be ready in 30 minutes. I’ve considered making a compilation of all the times Ted Allen has said blood on “Chopped” and even enjoy watching Pioneer Woman. Most importantly, I’ve grown to love Guy Fieri, similarly to a parasite that would make you lose weight but could also kill you.

Guy Fieri, winner of the 2nd season of The Next Food Network Star, bleach afficionado, Mayor of Flavortown, egg hater and good personal friend to Matthew McConaughey and brother from another mother to the guy from Smash Mouth is someone that I, truly and genuinely, enjoy watching. Netflix has helped with binge watching DDD and GGG, but when my friend had cable — we would spend hours at a time watching his shows… WITH COMMERCIALS.

It’s unexplainable, no part of me would ever think he’s cool. I should never trust someone who bleaches their soul patch, yet, I’ve spent countless hours with Guy. There’s always a point when you feel ashamed about your over-consumption and you make excuses as to why you watch something. I’ve tried to rationalize it, I was laughing AT Guy not WITH Guy. But, after a lot of self-reflection I realized that when you watch all of Guy’s Grocery Games seasons available on Netflix in one week and you go back and watch episodes of Diner’s, Drive In’s and Dives that you’ve see at least twice, you’re probably laughing with him… all the way to Flavortown Bank.

Originally posted by shitguyfierisays

We can laugh at Guy all we want but I know that Bob Tuschman is eating caramelized onions out of his spray tanned hands and personally applying bleach to his soul patch. If I was given the chance, I would too.