“Quiet” Reflection #4 (Chapter 8–9)

Chapter 8 places emphasis on Asian culture and their introverted tendencies and values. In Eastern countries, the education system especially, values quiet, calm and introspective individuals. By not speaking at all, students show deeper thought and respect. This poses stark contrast to Western culture, where the brighter personalities are considered more favorable in business, school, and social situations. Cain includes stories and quotes from Asian-Americans who have felt pressured to be more boisterous and gregarious. She narrates the story of the time she personally attends a class intended to teach foreign-born professionals how to exude more of the American extrovert ideals. While reading this, I learned so much about Western and American culture that has been present throughout my entire life but I have not personally acknowledged. I have not directly realized that my personality may allow my ideas to prosper more than the quality of them ever will. I feel disappointed when I think about how true it is that, in our culture, how you sell something and yourself is often the most important element to your personal success; whether it be a project for a class, a new product within the business place, or a new opportunity for your family. Just as Cain writes on page 187, “…there are too many aspects of Asian cultural and personality styles that the rest of the world could and should learn from”, I think that the intense scholarly expectations and high amount of respect for internal expression are something Americans should imitate. If Americans were driven to improve the quality of their ideas and think longer on them before displaying them to their peers, maybe we would be a more innovative society; maybe we would waste less time on trying to seem smarter and actually become smarter. However, Western culture does include elements that I think are admirable as well. I enjoy that while growing up, I have been encouraged both by my parents and surrounding mentors to be my own person free from restraints and boundaries. I have been guided to express myself creatively and take pride in my own accomplishments. Because of this, I believe that I have prospered; but not everyone is that same way. For those children who find satisfaction in keeping their successes to themselves and do not find joy in traditional, visual, creative outlets, they are likely to feel out of place in American culture. I do not believe that there is some kind of perfect culture where everyone can be at peace, but I do wish that any culture, no matter its ideals, could be more tolerant of those who find themselves outcasts. If this were the case, Asian-Americans would not feel so self-concious of their social hesitations as to attend a class trying to dispel them.

The theme of balance that I took note of within Chapters 6 and 7 was also evident in Chapter 9, although it is a more intimate meaning of the word. Cain explains Professor Brian Little’s ideas of Free Traits and how they are relevant to the life of an introvert. A Free Trait is one that does not conform to your general preferences, like the ability to speak a to a lecture hall full of students when you’d classify yourself as an introvert. Little’s explanation for this is that when driven by a strong feeling or force, people will stray from their preferences in order to reach a certain goal. However, Cain warns the reader not to spend too much time in this Free Trait habit and to seek a “restorative niche” in order to maintain sanity and overall happiness. By doing this, you are able to recharge within solitude and take a break from widely social situations. The theme of balance plays into this most prevalently while Cain explains Little’s Free Trait Agreement. It states that you are able to compromise, or “agree”, to work your Free Trait for a portion of the time, but also to spend time in your comfortable conditions for an equal or greater timespan. This is pertinent to close relationships, select careers and other regularly-occurring activities. By understanding the coexisting types of atmospheres, ones that stimulate introverts and ones that favor extroverts, individuals are better able to plan out their day-to-day lives. I think that Cain reiterates the need for balance within large-scale and small-scale systems to remind her readers that neither extroverts nor introverts are at a disadvantage. The differences between the two major personality classifications allow them to compliment and co-function efficiently. Prior to reading Quiet, I always thought it was superior to be an extrovert (probably because of the way Western culture reinforces this ideal, refer back to Chapter 8); I now understand that there are pros and cons to both extroversion and introversion and the most important thing is to understand them both and learn how to utilize your strengths.