Goodbyes

Since I was little I’ve always dreaded goodbyes. My cousin and I have a great friendship. She is someone who has been there for me always even though she lives 5975 kilometers away. I’ve had to say goodbye to her every year of my life. Not a “Goodbye, see you tomorrow” more like a “Goodbye, see you in a year.”. We have been inseparable ever since I can remember, yet we’ve had to be separate for the most part of our lives. Whenever it’s time to say goodbye we both break down to tears and time hasn’t changed this at all.

This July, I went to a summer camp for two weeks, I created so many deep friendships with people who live on the other side of the world, in Spain. This was a goodbye that I will never forget. We were all so sad, we were all crying, yet this time, we had no idea when we would see each other again.

For some reason it’s hard for me to forget goodbyes. They have such an effect on me that I rarely do so. I used to let goodbyes overtake me and affect me for so long, but through time and experience I have managed to understand that no goodbye is really a goodbye but rather a see you soon. After the many goodbyes, my friendship with Luci is exactly the same, untouched. As Winnie the Pooh says “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”.

All this doesn’t mean that I’m okay with goodbyes or that I don’t fear that someday I will see these people again and it won’t be the same. I do fear this, along with so many other things. I fear permanent goodbyes. I fear not knowing whether I will see someone again. I fear changing friendships. And I fear drifting away from people who once meant the world to me.

Despite these fears and how hard goodbyes are, one thing that keeps me going is the thought that every goodbye will soon lead to a new hello. Although goodbyes are tough, there is no better feeling than saying hello to someone who you’ve missed for so long.

My cousin and I
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