You describe the experience very well. I was surprised at first, when I lost the love of my life, at the advice that came to me from the grief counsellors’ daily mailings, that we cannot deny the pain, that we must allow ourselves to feel it. So, I do, and carry on until I am taken unaware once again. Only someone who grieves will understand. I am a smiler, and one day when someone asked me how I was doing, I replied, as I always do, “I’m OK.” And that was my truth, at that moment. A person standing nearby said, “How can we tell, you’re always smiling!” I wanted to say, “Not always,” but I let it pass. My tears still visit me and I suspect will continue to arrive unannounced, until…Thank you for writing this.