The Other Side of Sexism Part 2
In my first post here, I ended with this.
“Instead of trying to thwart others efforts of good will. I think people need to step up and have more manners, courtesy, and respect for their fellow person.”
But I started off with:
“When I was watching something last night the people said something that rekindled this idea and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.”
What did they say that made me think about the post? Something along the lines of:
“When it gets to a judge he..or she will just throw it out”
I put the dots in to point out that there was a pause before they said “she”. Now honestly when you read or hear this sentence you probably think nothing of it. It’s very commonplace to say; He or She, Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls, Men and Women, Man, Woman etc. All is well and good in the kingdom but we forget that the times change.
We all suck
We forget that we are people and that as we move fast we still have things to break. One thing that needs to break is how we describe things. The equality problem then comes down to, what do we lose and what do we gain? Now be it positive or negative no matter what something will be lost and something will be gained. For instance If everyone starts holding doors open it will no longer be considered a sign of a gentleman but a way of life, as it should be, for all people.
So what does this do with the sentence: “When is get to a judge he..or she will just throw it out”?
Words matter, freedom of speech or not. Whether people realize it or not what they say can have a huge impact on the progress we want to make. The problem is we are saying things because we were taught how to say them and don’t realize we have words already in place for resolving this problem.
To me it’s something that I actually had to wrap my head around to understand because I did this without knowing and only realized what everyone else was doing once people started speaking out. Honestly I think it is weird the way people speak without realizing their options. In fact I’ve actually caught myself talking like others and then correcting myself in mid sentence to the way I normally talk.
You talk funny
So once again, what is the problem? The problem is, it doesn’t matter if the judge is a he or she. They are a judge and that is all that matters.
It doesn’t matter if the cook, uber driver, pilot, killer, writer, etc is a she or he.
Let’s do a case study. You’re telling someone a story and you’re referring to someone else. It doesn’t matter what gender, race, creed ect. of the person you are referring to it. Let’s assume you are generalizing the person for whom you are speaking of. This means that you are not telling names or race but speak about them as a gender, because that’s what people do when they generalize. Here are some things you might say vs. what I might say.
You: Do you know what he/she did?
Me: Do you know what they did?
You: There goes that man/woman again.
Me: There goes that person again.
You: I talked to this lady/gentleman about my boat.
Me: I talked to them about my boat.
You: The boys and girls are having fun outside.
Me: They are having fun outside.
You: That man/woman is really funny.
Me: They are really funny.
Me: That person is really funny.
Read those, take it in, reflect and understand what I mean.
What did you read?
That was actually pretty hard for me to come up with because I use; they, them, person, people etc. all the time without realizing it. I think it’s funny because we always talk about speed these days given technology but people still waste their time saying “he or she” instead of “they”. Gender doesn’t matter, unless you’re trying to tell a joke, then maybe it matters. Now that’s not to be insensitive because obviously what you consider yourself matters but in a general situation it doesn’t.
My point is that, and I understand there is a lot of debate to this solution, the easiest way for people to help with equality is the stop categorizing specifics. With the ever growing movement of Becoming Me we forget that the way we speak needs to change and we don’t need new words. We have them, we just need to use them. The words I used also helps with anyone trying to identify themselves as anything. Be it Male, Female, Trans, Unsure, Dinosaurs, etc. it doesn’t matter.
In fact some people who want equality are only lessening its values by specifying themselves in more intricate ways that honestly don’t matter.
So as you continue to speak about encouraging equality make sure you slow down and mind your two T’s and P’s.
They, Them, People, Person.
Stay tuned for Part Three of The Other Side of Sexism.
I also want to learn. If you feel differently then explain. Please don’t say, because it shouldn’t work like that. Truly think about why it shouldn’t and give an ample response.