Help! I want to hook up with a girl that is mentally ill?
QI met a girl online that admitted to me that she is bipolar and is dealing with a fit of depression right now. We have been talking on the phone a lot and texting heavily. It gets even stranger, she just made a trip to Los Angeles and met a guy there, now she wants to move there within a week to pursue him. I’ll admit I think this whole thing is crazy, but she still wants to meet with me in person and I am oddly compelled to meet with her. Is that crazy, should I just call the whole thing off? And more importantly, is there something wrong with me for wanting to hook up with someone who is obviously not with it?- Clueless in the Midwest
A Hi Clueless in the Midwest, I’m sorry to hear about your dilemma. The girl who suffers from Bipolar Disorder is not well at the moment. She told you she is currently suffering from depression. Even more, the irrational, haste decision to uproot and move for a stranger she just met could be a testament to the idea that she is not taking medication to treat or manage her illness. You are not crazy for having grown attached via texting and phone calls to a woman who is mentally ill. A mental illness is only a small part of what makes up a human being and you are simply responding to your natural disposition as a single man looking for love. It is strange, however, that you’d want to meet up with a woman who doesn’t have a mutual interest in you? Perhaps, you believe you can win her over in person? This is alarming for this very reason: your willingness to entertain starting a relationship with a mentally ill woman in distress, who is unfit to make rational choices. Since you care about her, gently suggest she sees a doctor immediately and direct her to Depression & Bipolar Support Alliance which provides tools, education, support groups, treatment options and other resources. There is a chance she may not listen to you nor take your advice and you certainly should call this thing off. Lastly, if you suspect that you may have qualms about self-worth or you feel you may have a predilection for unattainable relationships, it would be wise to begin discussing these issues with a therapist.