When Viagra is on the horizon for my young bf…

Q Dear Armchair Psychologist, I am head over heels with my boyfriend of 4 months, (he is 28 and I’m 26,) but his sexual stamina is making for awful sex. The foreplay and love is there, as is the emotional connection, but he climaxes within a minute. We have spoken about it and he promises to work on it but to no avail. I decided to take the bull by the horn and bought some Viagra online. How do I ask him to try them without crushing his ego?-GiddyUp

A Dear GiddyUp, I’m glad to hear you’re heads over heels for your boyfriend and willing to take action to make it work. I’ve always emphasized the importance of sexual compatibility for lasting relationships and really think that needs close examination in this case. It sounds like your bf may suffering from premature ejaculation which applies to men who ejaculate within one minute of penetration (3–5 min is average). There are many causes and treatments for this condition, but Viagra isn’t one, as it’s for erectile dysfunction. Premature ejaculation is extremely common and especially in newer relationships, such as yours, but it is also a condition that can cause shame, trauma and anxiety. Unless you want your poor boyfriend to recoil in anxiety each time you prepare to have sex, do not pester him with your ill-researched remedies. Instead, have a gentle conversation and compassionately suggest that he seeks help.