Why won't anyone tell me the truth?
Why shouldn't I blow my brains out?
Like so many people before me who a saw a light they couldn't comprehend I'm reaching the end as I pull the skeletons out one by one.
Horrors relived sporadically making sense to atone to the ones I abused.
I'm a monster and no that isn't for you to choose.
Commiting social suicide just so you know where I stand.
Maybe I’ll make empathy run short and let that blade run upwards sideways on my wrists.
Bleed out like I could’ve done so many years ago.
Bleed out like a grandfather who never payed attention, or my grandmother’s twisted vision that I relive everyday.
Another youth collapsing under pressure,
Who couldn’t make amends to understand,
Fling my self onto an overpass so if the pavement don’t take my life the oncoming traffic would be sure to cement my land.
My threat to my life and yours wasn’t nothing,
Only a way to restate who I could’ve turned into, the exit I could’ve taken.
As to what the judge says if I have to pay time so be it.
If you never questioned my words from the beginning then fuck yours.
A mind who critically cuts red tape,
Without money, without grace,
I collide and manifest all their worlds with ease,
An uncompromising fate.
If we were left in a room I’m sure I’ll tear down your barrier with uncensored laughter,
I’d strike the nerves to cause your love to flourish.
Acting out those verbs,
diminishing your convictions,
To show you another light brighter than mine,
Don’t you know?
I’d wait a lifetime for our lives to converge.
Where is your love?
Is it shown even at your worst moments?
Could you remove your ego and self?
Could you remove the stake that society that claims,
And renounce all that is hell?