Don’t Let “Matchitis” Ruin Dating

It’s easy to get excited when you make your way into the online dating world for the first time, and you see all of these beautiful people matching with you. Their profiles are laid out, easy to explore, which makes them all the more appealing. That is, if you’ve learned how to initiate good messages, and pick the right people, using First Impressionistas.

Still not having luck getting from online to in person, or not getting a second date? Don’t let “matchitis” ruin your chances of meeting the right person with the following tips:

1. Honesty

Everyone knows that the key to a good relationship is trust, openness and honesty. But in the new dating process, sometimes being honest can be hard, especially when you’re attracted to other people, or you’ve done some bad things in the past. When you’re dating someone new, make sure you tell them that you’re going on dates with other people (if you are) and don’t misrepresent yourself. If you’re broke, telling them you’re a millionaire is a bad idea. At some point, they’ll want to take a trip to Costa Rica, and you’ll find yourself in a tough spot. Most of the time, people won’t hold your past against you, and they will respect your honesty in the dating process. Be honest about when you’re hoping to have sex, so that your expectations are in the right place, or whether that’s going to be a dealbreaker. Finding out 3 months into the relationship that your new partner is hoping to wait until marriage can be a pretty bad situation, and the flip side is true — sometimes, your new partner will feel rejected if you don’t initiate sex within the first few dates.

2. Humbleness

When you’re trying to form a relationship with someone, it can be high stakes. Most of the time, dating will end in friendships, or nothing at all, since 90% of dating is timing, according to Louisville dating coach Elizabeth Lewis. Don’t screw it up by acting like you’re awesome, or bragging about your career and life. The person already knows what you do, if you filled out your profile properly, and has agreed to go out with you. You don’t need to tell them how great you are — they’re learning that as you go along. Humbleness will you get you a long way when trying to form relationships.

3. No Judgments

When women and men get older, they get wrinkles. It’s a fact of life, yet heterosexual men and women frequently pass over older partners for younger ones. Older men and women are much more likely to be experienced, both sexually, and in dealing with relationship drama. If they’re younger, they might not have the social skills to dress well, handle relationship stress, and might be glued to their phone. Don’t judge someone on looks or age alone, and create a positive and open environment where the person can tell you their life story. Don’t judge someone on how many partners they’ve had, or what their interests are. How many partners they’ve had isn’t going to make you incompatible; your judgmental behavior will. A difference in interests might cause problems, but the saying ‘opposites attract’ is there for a reason. The other person might be able to help you discover new interests, new things, and enrich your life more.

Contribution to article by Elizabeth Lewis, Louisville, KY Life and Dating Coach,

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