Sex and the City
The Art of Getting Lost in a Familiar City
“Okay stop. Slow right the fuck down now. You’re walking way too fast for a saturday night.” I told her, juggling between puffing smoke, walking fast and small talking. All our friends were gone and we went to the bus station.
“But I always walk this fast. I can’t walk slow” she says. But that’s what they all say, always. At least she made an effort to go slower and it looked hilarious, because it was just so unusual.
“That’s what they all say, always. It’s saturday night, we’ve got absolutely nowhere to be, no deadlines to catch. We can do whatever we want, so why are you in a hurry?” She kinda frowns, at least 100 people must’ve said this before.
“Well it’s just that I’m used to walking fast.”
Walking fast, avoiding eye contact and ignoring everything around us. Something we’re all “just used to”.
“Let me teach you how to walk slow in 3 minutes. Money back guarantee.”
She smiled and said okay, and I saw it in her eyes that she didn’t believe me.
“It’s simple. Just stop.” We stood in the middle of the street, not moving.
It felt awkward even to me and I’ve done this before.
“Look, the street is still. It’s not moving. It’s something completely different from what you’re used to seeing. Let that soak in.” I give her a minute. “Now breathe. This isn’t meditation, just stand still and breathe.” Okay, that was a little lie.
The street changed. I’ve walked that street a hundred times and it changed before my very eyes. It changed before her eyes. It wasn’t the same street anymore, it was new. If you got lost in your house, this is how you’d feel.
“Now, imagine you’re a dude. Relax your imaginary balls and let them hang.”
For some reason, this only works if you get them to imagine to be the opposite sex.
You’d be surprised how easy it is for men to relax their vaginas and how easily women let their imaginary balls hang freely. God is a joker.
She laughed and started walking. Slowly. And we saw new grafitti, new places, new streets, new windows. It was cool as hell. She didn’t even start walking faster. We walked the whole street and she was slower than a snail.
It’s like we both gained a new sense, something you haven’t yet experienced. It was like watching Sex and the City and knowing why it feels so alive. It was like living in an episode, with less New York and more Ljubljana.
I heard the sound of girls walking by. The clack — clack of the high heels. The vroooms of the cars and buses on the main road. The music from a cafe.
The bop and hop and swing and sway, the pump and thump of the city.
The neon signs have never shined so bright and the air was never warmer.
It was like this old lady called Ljubljana gave me the biggest bear hug of them all. It was raw and noisy and beautiful. I touched something, saw something, heard something.
“You know you don’t have to be anywhere on a Saturday night, right?”
“I know.” she said and jumped on the bus.