Graduation
“Graduation of any kind remains one of the most important thing in anyone’s life and if you are lucky to have an opportunity to have two, you should make the most of it” — Made up quote
So finally the graduation 2.0 got over and it was more like limping to the finish and definitely not dashing to the end like the previous time. As I collected my fake certificate (real one will be sent digitally because tech is cool), I started wondering about the reasons for this particular feeling while smiling for pictures which would show up on college’s calendar and definitely on my parents’ facebook page. As people started throwing their hats in air, I felt less and less enthused about all the ceremonious aspects. The fancy dinner got over, due clearance got over & night got over too. It was strange night in many ways and even stranger morning. Soon it will be same life in corporate when I will be running behind stories to finish, meetings to attend and excuses to make. To make matters worse, old age approaches at tremendous pace and I am not ready for it. As we made our way back to our hotel for one final day in grand old city of Hyderabad, I kept thinking about the past year.
Just like in my previous collge, I had shown up alone for the orientation and was fully expecting to perform strip dance in an empty room. To my surprise, there was none of it and instead I was greeted with well wishes for the future and welcome gifts. When I had boarded the train from Bangalore to Hyderabad, I was not expecting much from my new college except a good paying job. I remember telling myself “I know how colleges work”, “I know how to survive there”, “It will be same old predictable race for everything”. It was as if I was playing counter strike and I knew the maps, I knew where enemies are going to be or where my fellow soldiers are going to be. I remember midway through term 1 and thinking “am I letting this pass by just like that”. My approach to most of the external stimulus used to be “I have done this or I know what is at the end of this”. I remembered the time those 3 people entered our flat and gasped at the fact that we were watching champions league final. “Don’t you know how stressed everyone is outside for the statistics end term?”. There was almost an instantaneous shrug from all of us in the flat because it was a final of the biggest sporting event. But part of me was also aware that grades don’t matter and I will get a job whatever happens. Basically that’s how it worked last time. I told myself, “I got this shit”.
I remember during term 1 break, a friend of mine had called to ask about life at new college. He had just completed his journey in second college and he shared his wisdom regarding what is it going to be untill placements. It sounded very drab, monotonuous and exhausting. Knowing what lies ahead in life for a foreseeable future can either be very settling or very disturbing. Something had to change. One day I was immersed in one of my nostalgic voyages and got stuck at my internship, again. At the end of mid term break there, I was faced with the same dilemna. The academic research was going to be the same, field visits were going to be the same and submissions were going to be same. But there were externalities as well, like what I do in my free time, what I do with other people in my free time and how do I keep learning new things in my spare time. If it worked last time, let’s give this a try this time again. And suddenly, there was something different about this place. Going to the library wasn’t monotous now because I could choose to do academic work there or I could read about 100 biggest financial frauds. I could hang out with different people over coffee or over a game of badminton. I could host a movie night or I could chill by myself over netflix. I could go to a ball or skip it altogether for a sumptuous dinner. Instead of worrying about shallow end of “how I know most of the stuff worked”, I could throw myself in the depths of unknowns. When I look back, all the different things I chose to do made new college exciting. Yes, a large part of it was the same old stuff; from rushing for morning classes to scrambling to submit assignments. But there was more to college than these things; lesson learnt.
When I finally stopped thinking about past year in the hotel room, the bitter reality of going back to corporate struck again but I wasn’t as worried as I was a while ago. In one of the courses, we were taught complexities make things difficult. Like how you start learning how to drive in an empty field and its all easy but as soon as you jump on that road, it sucks. But I guess those externalities also make life interesting but it depends how choose to assimilate in your life. For most part, life will be same old thing. Waking up, doing due dilligence of regular routine, striving for excellence in job and then home sweet home. But a part of life, may be a significant part, thrown a bunch of externalities at you. Its your job to identify the fun in them and compliment the mundane chores of life. As I concluded my mulling session to leave for dinner, I told myself “It’s the externality, stupid”.
