I was one of the kid who hated high school.

It’s true, you know. My closest classmates can testify to this. They knew, because they hated high school too.

We hated high school for the homogeneity — the way everyone seemed to think and look a certain way. We hated (our) high school for being extremely chill even when in times of trouble. We hated how our classmates never seems to care about anything except for ~*~*LiVINg iT Up~*~* and being brats throughout high school.

I used to long for college. I longed for its diversity and open-mindedness, for being surrounded by like-minded people and all that jazz. It was the thing that kept me going throughout high school, in fact. The thought about college. Whenever things went bad (which was a lot of times), I had to remind myself that those moments will pass. Four more years, I told myself when I was in middle school.

Three more years.

One more year.

Six more months.

Two more weeks.

One more day.

And finally, I was alone. I was in college.

And it is everything I thought it would be.

I don’t miss high school. Masa putih abu-abu adalah masa terindah ndasmu. Nggak ada yang indah dari ngerjain laporan kelompok sendiri soalnya kelompokmu isinya orang-orang nggak kompeten. Nggak ada yang indah dari nangis-nangis jam dua belas malam soalnya kamu nggak bisa ngerjain soal tryout UN.

High school was hell, and I am glad I never have to go to that again. Good riddance.

But still.

There’s just something very calming about high school, isn’t it? Being inside the ultimate safety bubble. You were in a structured schedule — bangun, makan, belajar sesuai jadwal, pulang. That was it. You went home to your parents. Teachers actually know your name. You can do any ridiculous shit and nobody will bat an eye — after all, this is high school. The time when you’re supposed to screw things up.

Or maybe not. I don’t know.

I didn’t cry at graduation. I didn’t cry when watching the Catatan Akhir Sekolah video at graduation. I basically didn’t shed any tear during the last moments in high school. I didn’t cry during anything, period.

But still, there are moments. Laughing at your friends. Bitching about the school system. Looking up exasperatedly from a tough physics problem and wanting it to end. Running to Chemistry class not wanting to piss the teacher even more. Sneaking out for snacks in the middle of a boring class just because. Sitting at the table reserved for seniors. Laughing at yourself. That moment when you aced a hard test.

It was crap, and there was all there is to it. Crap.

But still, it is one of the crappiest experience of my life that I can look back at with great fondness