Finding the Fit
During the vacation in January I visited my grandfather’s farmhouse. The house is a quaint, 125-year-old property on a desolate plot of land in Southern Canada. Being isolated more than a mile from the nearest neighbour, I always find the contrast between the farm and my typical city life fascinating. One of my favourite parts of the farm is going up into the attic and exploring everything up there. There is something so intriguing about the mystery of the room — the creaks of the floorboard and the character in the chests and engraved wooden furniture. Most people perceive attics as something frightening; when I look at them, I get drawn looking at all the old journals, boxes, and toys wondering: “what is the story behind all of these things?”
This time, as I was wandering around the attic, something caught my eye: A small chalkboard with “Ms. Jennifer” written on it. A chair was propped up beside the chalkboard as if the person sitting in it had just gone up to take a small break. It was the only thing in the room that looked like it had been touched in the past 25 years.
As soon as I saw it, memories flooded back to me. Even though it had been more than 8 years since I had been there, I remember my exact memories from when I had sat there. I would prop all of my grandmothers dolls on the ground and teach them a lesson any subject I could think of: punctuation, english, writing. I remember that I was captivated by the idea of teaching and sharing knowledge; the idea that you could inspire a whole new generation of learners. And that is why at 7 years old, there was one thing I was confident of: I was going to be a teacher.
It’s funny to think that one of the most common questions a child will get asked is: “what are you going to be when you grow up?” How can you expect a child that has only lived on the planet for roughly 5 years to know what they want to pursue for more than 91,250 hours of their lifetime? They haven’t been alive long enough to try and learn all the things they want to that allow them to make their decision.
This is what I began to notice with my teaching aspirations. I slowly began to find new passions that made me dig deeper and lead me down a new path. First it was writing, then filmmaking, then real estate agent/remodeler, and many more. I was constantly in search of what was the perfect “fit” for me. Exploring new topics was what helped me discover who I really was. Instead of being a “waste of time,” I actually was able to narrow down what I loved doing through experimentation.
When I wanted to be a writer, my goal was to write and print a novel at 10 years old. The first thing I did was go to the book store and buy a book called “So You Want to Write a Children’s Book” by Peter Carver. I would love to write short stories in my free time and finally I decided to write my novel. It was going to be about these girls that go to the beach and find a fairy hidden in a seashell, and discover a whole new world of adventures. However, after writing my first couple paragraphs I began to get so frustrated. I was so fixated on making the writing perfect that I couldn’t finish the first chapter. That summer, I was spending time with my relatives and I remember my grandma asked me, “how is your writing going?” and I remember telling her that I was beginning to spend more time with making movies and short films. It was a different way of expressing a story, but without the pressure that I felt from writing. By exploring the elements I liked about writing, I was able to apply it in different areas that I uncovered an interest in.
Now, as a 10th grader, if someone was to ask me what I wanted to study in university and continue as a profession, I still would not be able to give them an answer. Even though I am far from discovering what I want to be as an adult, I would say that I am much closer than I was when I was 7 years old. When I think back on the days that I told people I wanted to be a writer or a teacher, those times seem so far away. But in reality, they helped guide me into the person I am today.
Experimentation is the best way to figure out who you are and what you want to become. Even though you may think trying new things is a waste of time, you will never know if you don’t try it out. And even though your “perfect” fit will always be ever changing, at least you will be headed in the right direction.
