No Sleep Weekdays (and Sunday)
Why am I doing this?
I ask myself this at 1:30am, still not done with tomorrow’s assignment. I could’ve easily finished it four hours ago when I started on it, yet here I am. This seems to be my routine now. Going to bed before 11 seems suspicious — am I actually work-free? Both my brothers went to bed a long time ago, and since I share a room with one, I’m working entirely on the light from my lamp and the glow of my laptop. I stare at the last sentence I typed, something about a poem from a modern poet I never heard about and his dark past and a ball. The assignment wasn’t hard or anything, I just had no willpower to do it. Switching aimlessly between tabs didn’t help either, and there was no one else awake to aid in my distraction. As I typed in the last sentence, I glanced down at the internal clock: 1:57. Oh jeez, I hope I don’t fall asleep in class tomorrow.
Spoiler alert: I did.
Procrastination is a small skill I have that has been perfected over the course of a couple of years now. Me getting hooked on a series and refusing to put my work on a higher importance was just the start of it. The main reason why it has become so perfected is that it works — just barely, but it does so my mind likes to use it as an excuse. The tiny voice in the back of my mind that spews lies about it not being so late and that I can definitely watch another video is starting to become my never-leaving companion. I should really swallow a clock since that tiny voice seems to say this even when it’s 2 in the morning.
I’m sure that it’s a problem that everyone suffers with and is universal. However, my parents didn’t procrastinate. It sounds unbelievable but I guess in the end it does make sense: With the introduction of the internet, the distractions available have never been more accessible. Countless videos, games, articles, pictures, and more are online and a couple of clicks away. The fact that there are an infinite amount doesn’t help either; you can get stuck looking through just today’s feed for hours.
My parents constantly remind my brothers and I that school is of the utmost importance because you have to put a lot of effort into it and get excellent grades or else there’s not a chance that you’ll get into an Ivy League school or gain access to any high-level education. Yet, there are many obstacles in the way that are tempting to take.
My family has always been a big pressure to be exceptionally good academically, with the shadows of cousins becoming exempt their college thesis due to their well-above-average grades and other success stories, I’m expected to follow in those steps and do just as well, if not better. As a result, it affects the way I handle assignments. At least — it should. At times much like the essay about the poem, stalling until it’s too late to even think, it’s very easy to just say “I have time” and just forget about any worries or expectations. Why not take this extra time to play your favorite game or chat with your best friend if this assignment isn’t due tomorrow?
If tomorrow isn’t the due date, then today isn’t the “do” date. Mostly said as a joke, it’s regrettably what I have been doing in school. It does trigger immense guilt knowing that my loss of sleep is caused of my own doing, not anyone else’s. For my friends, always being sleepy has become part of my personality. A well-rested Alex is a rare sight.
I am the bringer of my own fate, and whatever I do results in a good or bad consequence. Saying that you’re in charge of your life and what comes out of it is something that should be taken to heart and acted upon. Being proactive and organized are two of the most valuable characteristics to have and should be taken advantage of. Regulating the amount of distractions available and clearing your workspace are all good practices. Be in charge of your own future and make sure to use any sort of advantage to better it for yourself, not off the wishes of someone else.