“What I really lack is to be clear in my mind what I am to do, not what I must know… What matters is to find a purpose… to find a truth that’s true for me, to find the idea for which I am willing to live and die… this is what my soul thirsts for as the African desert thirsts for water.” Theologian Søren Kierkegaard
In reaching our life’s potentials, especially when we are lost or confused, it is crucial to be familiar with our top motivations and core values, which provide us with anchors, meanings and a sense of purpose.
Types of motivation
Below are common motivations in life — while reading these, let’s take a moment to reflect how these motivations have driven your thoughts and behaviors?
- Basic needs: Intrinsic needs you are born with that drive your behaviors, including physiological needs such as eating, safety needs such as financial security, and psychological needs such as love and esteem. See more in Self > Human Basics > Our Needs.
- Authority: What you are told to do. An extrinsic motivation, authority-related motivations are often pressed on us by powerful people or institutions.
- Affiliation: What you feel the pressure to do because of relational affiliations or “society”. An extrinsic motivation, social motivations stem from our need to fit in and thrive in groups rather than being cast out.
- Values: What you think are right or important to do. Intrinsic motivations influenced by our extrinsic environment, values are important because they guide our life. We will explore more about values below.
- Interests: What you want to do. Intrinsic motivations influenced by our extrinsic environment, interests satisfy growth needs such as cognitive needs (e.g., curiosity), aesthetic needs (e.g., beauty), as well as needs for competence, achievements and self-actualization. Also see Self > Human Basics > Our Needs.
- Rewards: What you are enticed to do. Intrinsic motivations influenced by our extrinsic environment, common rewards people chase include money, fame and power. Rewards often start as a mean to fulfill other motivations such as basic needs and growth needs. However, in the process of chasing rewards, it’s easy for us to get lost, and mistake the rewards themselves as our final goals.
- Freedom: Having the agency and options to choose is in itself a motivation in life. As entrepreneur Paul Graham notes: “… a good rule of thumb was to stay upwind — to work on things that maximize your future options.” See related topics in Self > Principles > Growth Mindset and Life > Principles > Open Life View.
What are your values?
Out of the common motivations above, basic human needs and authority are harder to alter. That said, we can mold and develop our core values, which in turn inform what social norms we comply to, what interests we pursue, and what rewards we go after… Moreover, core values help us weather pressure from basic needs, authority, social pressure, etc.. It is therefore crucial for us to examine and actualize our core values.
So what are values? According to psychologist Jade Wu, values are “things that matter to us in the grand scheme of life.” “Justice”, for example, speaks to what we think are morally right in society; “challenge” points to what we’d like to achieve in life; “loving kindness” reflects how we like to relate to others and the world… Aligning our life with our core values gives us meaning and purpose, which is much more satisfying than short-term satisfaction or happiness. While people share similar values, each of us have different priority for our values. “Some people value social cohesion, some value knowledge, or creative productivity, or service to others, or connection to nature, or any number of things that provide a philosophy and guide the things they do,” says Wu.
Values should not be confused with your needs, others’ expectations, or societal morals/ethics. They are also not goals. While goals are ever-changing and can be checked off when done, core values tend to be consistent over time, guiding us throughout a lifetime. In our time of emotion-manipulating social media, radicalization of public opinions, misinformation and disinformation, breakdown of intersectional and international discourse, and cognitive and identity warfare, it is important to not be too attached to current affairs or point of views, but base our thoughts, sayings and behaviors on our values. Alignment to values helps us rise above the muddy waters of our chaotic time and think with a clear mind (see a related topic in Self > Principles > Context Matters & Things Change).
Figuring out your top values:
- Google “value card sort”. For example, this one by Miller, C’de Baca, Matthew and Wilbourne. Make sure they are values but not goals — values should be 1–2 word phrases.
- Print them out or copy and paste them into a text editor, then sort the values from the most important to the least important to you.
- Rate the top 1–10 values. For example, my top 10 core values in order of importance are: justice, equity, freedom, loving-kindness, actualization, transcendence, autonomy, cooperation, growth and hope.
- Set top-value-driven goals and execute them (see Life > Methods > Achieving Goals).
- If you are not sure and want some inspiration, take this test about Global Values by the BBC. Below is my result.
- Review your top values periodically since they may slightly change as you mature, especially after big life events or traumatic incidents.
Purpose
When we have a good understanding of our motivations and core values, we are well-positioned to figure out and pursue our purpose. Below are a few notes about the pursuit of purpose:
- Purpose derives naturally from our motivations and especially our core values. For example, astronomer Carl Sagan once stated: “I don’t want to believe. I want to know”, which reflected that pursuing knowledge was very important to him. Being a scientist who explored the universe thus fit his sense of purpose.
- While we are predisposed to certain types of purpose based on our core values, as humans we also get to decide what our purpose means to us, as Kurzgesagt suggests.
- Distinguish between short-term happiness and long-term fulfillment of purpose. Temporary satisfaction of our physiological and physical needs tend to be fleeting — after a really good meal, we will be hungry again in a few hours. On the other hand, people who have the chance to fulfill their purpose and are content with their progress tend to be consistently happy, even if they haven’t achieved their purpose yet, and even if in the process of finding purpose, they may suffer (see Life > Principles > Life Actualization through Moral Struggles).
- When we have purpose, challenges and hard times feel more tolerable, and as a result, we live a healthier and more fulfilling life.
- To maximize our chances of achieving our purpose, we must understand ourselves, hone our capabilities, and build something with others. That’s why self-actualization is always linked with group actualization and world actualization.
- A giraffe does not grow a long neck on purpose. It’s purpose that has found the giraffe’s neck, out of all the other possible necks. This evolutionary antidote teaches us that if we don’t find an obvious purpose, try a lot of things and let purpose finds you. Even if you’ve found your purposes early on, try not to tie yourself to it too rigidly; allow for experimentation. You may find different purpose at various stages in a lifetime.
Caveats
While it’s crucial to figure out our motivations, core values, and purpose, we must remind ourselves not to get too invested in our own self. Not only would it put a lot of pressure on self, triggering anxiety, it’d also make us too self-absorbed, self-important, neglecting others. So live your personal truth by all means, but also pay attention to how your personal truth might affect people, communities and the world around you.
Also, in fulfilling our purpose, expect moral struggles, and always test, correct, iterate (see Self > Method > Iterative Learning).
Most importantly, never forget the core values that inspire our purpose. As Product Manager Shreyas Doshi reminds us: “In life, don’t mistake:
- Job for Career
- Career for Identity
- Net-worth for Self-worth
- Rewards for Purpose
- Purpose for Meaning
- Opinion for Truth
- Flattery for Friendship
- Proximity for Presence
- Intelligence for Wisdom
- Your Mind for Your Self
- Looks for Fitness
- Fitness for Health
- Health for Well-being
- Well-being for Peace
- Thrill for Fulfillment
- Introversion for Timidity
- Bravado for Charisma
- Charisma for Character
- Extroversion for Confidence
- Confidence for Competence
- Success for Ability
- Income for Freedom
- Ownership for Enjoyment
- Lifestyle for Standards
- Title for Flow
- Power for Optionality
- Money for Satisfaction
- Friendship for Status
- Achievement for Virtue
- Disparity for Hierarchy”
Conclusion
When you align your motivations and values not only with how your spend your life, but also with groups you belong to and what’s happening in the world, then you will be able to achieve life, group and world actualization.
Recommended reading: Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Do you have any suggestions, doubts, hypothesis or experience for this topic? Please comment below 👇!
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