Day something — Lack of tracking

I think you are more equipped than I am to face my problems in life, business, anything.

No I don’t.

I wish you would be warm and comforting after a bad day but instead you talk to me as if I had never thought about the situation I’m presenting to you. You speak to me like I put no thought into the dynamics I’m involved in. You also treat me as though I must treat every employee, and the future i’m trying to build, with pure apathy. Do you honestly think that I have been apathetic about working hard to be successful this whole time? For someone who hasn’t taken the leap to try to come up with an idea, convince people to give you money to build it because they believe in you, then to actually give it everything you have to do it (which is fine because that is true of most people), it is a little insulting to be coached on how to do a good job. Especially because things related to our interpersonal relationship (marriage) challenges are interwoven into your image of me as the leader of a company. As “they” (whoever the heck that is) says, unless you have walked a day in my shoes, you don’t know how beat up my Reeboks are (they say that right?). It hasn’t been a day, it has been at least 800 of them. To imagine that I have pumped 800 days of my stress into you.. not realistic. To assume that you have the same insight as me after 800 days of my restricted sharing where you could fully understand where I’m coming from would be not realistic. I give the most cautious advice to you because I am aware of the potential to offend, upset, or derail you. You give me advice like I just called 1–800-biz-advice. In the same way that when you tell me what is upsetting you, you are not looking for me to provide a solution (i learned that over years), the last thing I’m looking for is your solution.

I have been making a conscious effort to avoid giving you advice on your job. You are a smart, capable, successful, funny, beautiful (want me to keep going??) woman. You don’t need my worthless advice that doesn’t necessarily apply to your current situation and objectives. I want to hear how you are doing and offer any help I can, but it’s about you not about what I think. I want to be passive and supportive, and want you to be happy. In terms of how I think about talking to you about my own activities…. well…

…Unless you wanted me to completely overwhelm your world with stress, you can’t possibly understand the market, the dynamics, the people, the anything. i don’t want you to at all though. A hug and some understanding after this day would have been perfect. Some understanding that I cracked and had a couple drinks and wanted to laugh at a comedy with you, then smile at our skydive would have been fantastic. Instead we focused on how you think I have a problem that I don’t have. I am not a demon. You are far from perfect. Can’t we both just shut the f up and have a good time together? Why do the panties always have to get in a bunch? We do have fun. I am just wanting us to have fun always. period. Are you still looking for movie style prince charming? I’m at this point just looking for princess “can be charming and doesn’t act insane, and accepts me for who i am”, Am I settling? I don’t even care if I am. Just like you chose to accept your family with all of their faults, and decided to love them unconditionally, I’m looking for the same thing with my wife. Accept faults, work together to improve them with understanding and empathy, and be happy with who we already are. I want to snuggle my woman and attempt to make her happy. If the fact that I really liked skydiving is a deal breaker, just flush my wild and crazy careless ass down the toilet.

I am a well spoken, well written, intelligent human who is capable of operating on a level above the one we currently operate on. I’m sick of arguing with you over the past. The bottom line is.. I love you. I don’t want to compete with you. I want to be good. I want you to be happy more than anything. I feel like I could die happy if I saw you consistently satisfied and happy with your life and not worried. I don’t care how much money it takes, it’s honestly one of my main dreams in life.

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