Tight wetsuits in water

My wetsuit is sucked tight on my body. You see I forgot my bikini and so it is like a second skin, molding and moving with me as I fiddle with my board. It’s warm. The water is around 19 degrees, but since the sun has already set and it is Autumn, I’ve slithered my way in.

I march into the swirling high tide froth, currents battering me from all sides. The waves don’t look too big from here. I wade out until I see a slight lull in the sets. I’m the only one out. I hop on my board and begin to paddle. Hmmm…so that’s why I thought it would be a good idea to swim lengths every day. My paddling fitness isn’t too flash! I haven’t been doing lenghts. After what feels like minutes I’m still in the same place.

I’m also just learning to duck dive. The waves crash in front of me and I muscle up and push my board as hard down as I can. It doesn’t sink into the blue enough and I get caught in a washing machine. After enough of those on repeat I wade back out. I’ll try a different spot.

I walk down the beach, under some fishing lines and look up at the sky. It’s turning a wispy pink with grey linings. I breathe in, deeply into my belly and feel the gratitude well up and spread to every cell. Drink it up cells I think, may that speed your wellness.

You see I don’t always have a whole lot of energy and then when I do, I find it hard not to excitedly spend it all. Tonight I realise I’ve had more energy, more often lately, and that fizz of gratitude makes me want to hug those clouds. To reach up and lose myself in them. I want to shout to the empty waves how amazing life can be. I drink all these feelings in. I let them settle and disperse through me. This right here is what will get me through the slumps…