Thanks so much for sharing this. From reading this and the many comments, I don’t feel so alone in how, for my own peace of mind, I have chosen to deal with my twin sister.
For many years I never even realized how she berated me or how I was always in tears after a phone call with her. Both my ex and current husband actually had to tell me this because I began getting very confused by my feelings with her.
Don’t get me wrong, we had great times together and there was a part of her that would give you the shirt off her back, but then there was the other side that could cut to the bone.
I’ve had a number of long talks with my mom about the relationship and she told me of the strong sibling rivalry because I was always the first to learn and do things and always got the better grades. There’s nothing I can do about any of that and there never was. I would have had to sit in a corner and not lived my life.
After 50+ years, things just progressively worsened and after stress-related health issues resulting from my reaction to her behavior, I came to the conclusion that I don’t like her anymore. I love her because she’s my sister (obviously I haven’t gotten over that), but I don’t like her and would never have her as a friend. I don’t go to her house anymore and have stopped telling her anything about my accomplishments or life when we talk. The biggest most freeing revelation for me was realizing we don’t want the same kind of relationship.
And at 59 now, I’m at peace with that.