Climbing the Ladder: Compare & Contrast
‘Climbing the Ladder’ is dedicated to sharing my experiences that have helped me with my corporate career and shaped my life philosophy. In my posts, I will strive to be realistic and brief, and ideally share tips that are slightly different from the tons of recycled/AI-generated content. Photo by Marc-Olivier Jodoin on Unsplash.
Amour-propre is a term used by the Genevan philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau to describe a kind of vanity or “self-love” that is derived from the approval of others and how highly one is regarded. By contrast, amour de soi revolves around one’s feelings for oneself alone, rather than being concerned about how one is perceived by others.
Whilst Rousseau viewed amour de soi as the more primitive form and amour-propre as the form that emerged with the advent of a more structured society, he believed that amour-propre was a cause of misery and a form of enslavement, as one is essentially submitting to the will of others to gain their esteem.
On to Today
The fathers of contemporary social comparison theory are the American psychologists Leon Festinger and Herbert Hyman. Hyman’s theory was predicated on the notion that people tend to compare themselves to others in their reference group to assess their social status.
Festinger laid an important initial framework on comparisons that was subsequently expanded by other academics, such as Thomas Wills, to capture “upward”/“downward” social comparisons — comparing yourself to someone better-off/worse-off which can lower/elevate one’s self-regard.
A phenomenon that we are all observing, even outside of the confines of the work environment, is the growing tendency of people to portray themselves in a false light to impress others. This behavior also comprises an excessive inclination to compare oneself to others, exacerbated by social media.
There are a plethora of articles and academic studies on the adverse links between social media and mental health and I do not intend to cover these in my post.
However, I would encourage reading a very comprehensive and interesting article by Jonathan Haidt, a professor at the New York University Stern School of Business, that I recently came across. In summary, “the great majority of studies [in scope] find a positive correlation between time on social media and mental health problems, especially mood disorders (depression and anxiety)”. Charts such as the one below also convey a strong message:
In the Corporate Jungle
Comparing yourself to others is inevitable. The issues stem from the glorification of materialism and the unrealistic aspirations social media creates, as well as associated dissatisfaction from the inability to achieve them.
Due to the subjectiveness of such parameters, it is difficult to compare to others based on job satisfaction and net positive contribution to society. Salaries, however, provide a universal (objective) measure allowing for quick and easy comparisons, causing other important elements to fade away in importance.
You should not avoid completely comparing yourself to others. Instead, do so in a “healthy” way to benchmark if you are fairly renumerated and if progressing in line with your peers/typical expectations. If you find everyone else in your cohort is securing promotions or roles, but you are not, comparisons can give you a chance to re-assess if you should be doing things differently or if what you have chosen is the right career path for you.
The key part is how you compare yourself against others:
· Be mindful that there may be hidden ‘privileges’ granting others an advantage that you might not be aware of. These do not always manifest in terms of race or ethnicity — a ‘White Other’ male person may have much less cultural commonalities with someone who is a ‘White British’ person relative to an Indian second-generation female person. Companies may be promoting inclusion & diversity initiatives, but human decision-making is still heavily affected by biases and the degree of similarity with others can affect our perception.
· Also be cognizant that others may not have faced the same obstacles you have gone through. Is a millionaire born in an upper-middle class family more successful than an orphan who has made it despite the difficulties in life? Success is multifaceted and each individual’s journey is different — your upbringing and certain life events can have a significant impact on how our personalities are shaped.
Do not allow vanity and over-comparisons to rob you of the joy in your life.
