Marriage is Hard AF
Do you have those couple friends that you hang out with consistently that you think have it all together? You wonder if they ever fight about things like whether the ketchup goes on the meatloaf before or after cooking. Do they argue over who does more around the house? Do they occasionally daydream about how glorious life would be after divorce?
My wife and I have been together for 17 years, but the past year or two have been quite the challenge. Mostly me being a DB. We got trapped in a cycle of negativity that neither was willing to break. Foolish pride.
The change only started to occur when we both took responsibility for our own actions and quite trying to change the other through hours of finger pointing and criticism.
Seriously, when’s the last time you made significant change from being criticized or ridiculed? Or go a little further, when is that last time you made significant change at all?
Change is hard enough when you are trying to change yourself. Changing someone else is going to be even more difficult, if not impossible.
What if breaking this cycle was something simple and even enjoyable?
Think of a triangle where you are at one corner at the bottom, and your spouse is on the other bottom corner. Then at the top, you place something that you both want to work towards.
Maybe it’s your children, saving for a big purchase, a much needed vacation, spiritual growth, etc. As you each make strides toward that goal individually and move toward the top corner, you will notice that you inevitably become closer.
Sometimes a common concern or interest may be just what you need to get out of the cycle of negativity.
