Tesla Cybertruck……kinda truck, I think?

So this happened…and umm…yeah? Well, it happened and there is nothing we can do about it now because they are up for order on the Tesla website. With its all-new space proof unbreakable glass…oh wait, well at least it looks like a real truck…? Right? Oh, it looks like a drawing from a freaking four-year-old trying to draw daddy's truck that takes him to kindergarten.

This is what we got fellas, this is what we have to suffer through. I'm not really sure what to say other than facts straight from Tesla's website.

• Cybertruck is built with an exterior shell made for ultimate durability and passenger protection. Starting with a nearly impenetrable exoskeleton, every component is designed for superior strength and endurance, from Ultra-Hard 30X Cold-Rolled stainless-steel structural skin to Tesla armor glass/DOESNT WORK
• With up to 3,500 pounds of payload capacity and adjustable air suspension, Cybertruck is the most powerful tool we have ever built, engineered with 100 cubic feet of exterior, lockable storage — including a magic tonneau cover that is strong enough to stand on.
• Space for your toolbox, tire and Cyberquad, with room to spare. Utilize 100 cubic feet of exterior, lockable storage — including the under-bed, frunk and sail pillars.
• With the ability to pull near infinite mass and a towing capability of over 14,000 pounds, Cybertruck can perform in almost any extreme situation with ease.
• Raise and lower suspension four inches in either direction for easy access to Cybertruck or the vault, while self-leveling capabilities adapt to any occasion and assist with every job.
• Seat six comfortably with additional storage under the second-row seats. Complete with an advanced 17” touchscreen with an all-new customized user interface.

Going off of the top trip level the Trimotor AWD:

• 0–60 in 2.9 seconds
• 500+ miles of range
• 100cubic ft of storage, most likely in the “bed”
• “vault” length 6.5tf
• 14,000lbs towing capacity
• 16" of ground clearance
• Approach angle 35 degrees
• Departure angle 28 degrees

So yeah, those are the numbers. Let us compare, shall we?

2020 Ford F150 with 6 engine options, most horses you can get is 450, and the top towing capacity is 8,000lbs according to car and driver.

So yeah, those are the numbers not much more I can say than I can’t like the Cybertruck just something in my soul says it is just not right.

TRUCKS SHOULD NOT BE ELECTRIC WHAT'S THE POINT? THEY ARE MADE FOR WORKING, GETTING DIRTY, AND MAKING YOU WISH YOU NEVER HAD ONE WHEN YOU HAVE TO FIX IT. IT IS NOT FOR CHARGING UP AT THE FRONT OF A WHOLE FOODS WHILE GOING TO GET YOUR ARTIFICIAL SEAWEED.

So if you have a real truck, go get a lift kit, get big tires, go mudding, and get a few dents. I’m out!