image source: weheartit

Fourth of January, I decided to surprise Mike. It’s 2013 and I’m itching to see him. The last time I saw him, it’s December of last year. He drove all the way to my College after his brain-draining classes on his Graduate school. We spent the whole day together and the next day together with our mutual friends. He can’t leave my side saying he’ll miss me while he’s in Singapore. Talk about cheese. Well, he arrived last night, and now is the day for us to see each other again.

I decided to call our friends to surprise him, telling them we’ll be having a post- new year agenda. After hours of arguing and excuses, we decided to carpool and made our way to his condo. We keep on singing (or reciting?) “Summer Paradise” while we’re on the road. After countless repeats, we arrived at the building then made our way to the 9th floor where his unit is located. When we arrived, we’ve been greeted by a slightly opened door. I made a mental note to tell him that he’s so clumsy before I give him my “I’ve missed you” hug. We made our way inside. My friends sat at the sofa while I head to his bedroom.

He’s making out with someone.

I looked at them, glanced at our framed couple picture on the bedside table, then back at them. I stared at Mike then at the butter face. No one dared to speak. Not noticing that one of my friends is at the door too, I nod at Mike, head out of his bedroom, closed the door quietly, and pull my obviously more shocked friend to the living area. I told my closest friend, Jhay, to drive everyone home.

On the road, I feel cold but I can’t manage to cry. None of my friends dared to ask me or maybe I can’t just hear them. I don’t know. I feel so confused, I want to ask questions but I don’t know what to ask. I feel embarrassed. I feel like floating. I feel punched. I don’t know. Everything look kind of mixed and nothing makes sense. I don’t know. I didn’t cry. I can’t cry. And not crying is the worst.

(originally published at my wordpress profile)