Master of Two

I’m having trouble writing today. Not that I have nothing to say: suicide, depression, anxiety, dealing with them. These subjects are on my mind, and yet I don’t wish to write about them. Today is just not the day.

I do not feel inspired to write about them – YET. I’ll write about another topic today.

Today I pledged that I would try to write each blog post, and each story better than the one before. For this reason, I am pushing myself even now. It feels good: the attempt to do better. The left side of my brain is smoldering, and heavy. I see clouds on one side of my mind: gray, thundering, sultry clouds. The right side is black.

How can I write this better? My weaknesses are in descriptions. Leveling up as a writer may mean building upon this weakness.

Would you all like to see that development? Maybe that wouldn’t be valuable to you? What am I talking about? My posts are all about development! So pledge number two for today: each Friday I will write a description exercise; it will be a page long description of a space or object. How’s that?

My word is bond so you can count on my doing it, but I wonder if I am actually just uselessly complicating my growth?

The other day I began to consider focusing on storytelling and character drawings, while finding someone else to render backgrounds and environments.

My thought is that by doing so I can focus my life even further, AND strengthen my skills in my preferred artistic realms. As I think about it, I don’t know a single creator that does it all REALLY well.

Writing, Characters, AND Background? That’s a lot. Eiichiro Oda-Sensei (the creator of One Piece) is one of the few whom I consider to be strong in all these areas, but his story is not extremely complex.

Perhaps human beings are strongest together? Perhaps we were meant to combine and collaborate? Our accomplishments alone fail in comparison to what we can do when we work with a unified team. I love drawing characters and writing more than I enjoy rendering expansive environments. Should I play on that?

I am scared, but I’ll do it! I’ll focus on character design, character illustrations, and writing. A partner can handle the backgrounds.

And yet I want to render fantastic worlds – spaces that make your eyes quiver. I have so many ambitions and urges: writing, dialogue, characters, environment, animation, storyboarding, and on and on. I wonder if I’d be doing myself and those who love my work a disservice by not focusing on just a few? The few that I love most.

I’ll make the sacrifice. I’ll transmute all of that environment desire into my writing and my characters. And I’ll be the stronger for it.

Micah Markray

May 16th, 2017