“ But what else I know is that my point is my fucking point.Do I even want to convince someone who will only listen to me when they find out I’m a girl?”

Just logging in under a throwaway account to say that you are the Best Person. I can’t speak on trans issues, but I do keep pretty closed about my sexual orientation, and you wouldn’t believe the “allies” who get their feathers flustered over a straight person who dares speak about LGBT+ issues. You know, kind of like them, except not saying the things they like.

You hit a very important point about there being a cost to coming out. People watching from the outside (or coming from better situations) often don’t realize this. Hell, there are even some allies who, if you continue to disagree with them, will outright spread your information to people who will cause you harm. Obviously, people reading this will cry “not all allies!”, but it’s enough to be a danger. A lot of people get into activism solely because they want to hold power and command over a marginalized group.