Balloons

3x3x5 is a story written in 3 parts by 3 different people with — strictly — 5 minutes each.

He was insane. According to his doctor. According to his sister. According to the state. He knew the doctor would have been easy to bribe to sign a document diagnosing his insanity. But it pained him to think of what they did to his sister to get her to comply and sign a document confirming his mental infirmity. He’d been in the asylum for 6 months, but HE still knew he wasn’t insane. That was important.

He was biding his time and playing the role. His act was impeccable. Shrieking in the night, drooling, arranging his rice granules in neat rows, asking questions to furniture — all the classic signs. It was easy he thought, enjoyable even. The months flew by and his fake insanity blossomed. All was going swimmingly. All he had to do was stick with the plan, and the fortune will be his.

When he turned 70 he decided it was time to put the plan in motion. He has finally gathered enough supplies: 15000 frozen tacos, 69000 valium pills, 10000 dollars in change, 1 swiss army knife he had stolen from the guard and a whole bag of carrots for the road. And, of course, 29017 balloons, which he calculated would be enough to fly him out of the asylum. When D-day came he packed all his things into a bedsheet, making a neat backpack out of it, pumped the balloons and jumped out the window. He died almost instantly. “He would have made it had he pumped the balloons with helium rather than the air from his lungs,” said the police officer. “What do you know, he was crazy after all,” thought the doctor.

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