Dear reader, you have been lied to. That’s the simple truth. I’m going to break it down for you based on the assumption you’re the average male (whatever that is) so I’ll use small, simple words. If on the other hand you’re a female, read on because the lie has caught you as well — caught us all in fact. So before discussing the lie, let me explain the basis of its dependence.


The lie is based on comparison.

Without comparison the lie simply cannot exist. It needs other people — read you and I — to compare with, to and against, so as to proclaim its superiority. In what way is the lie superior? Quite a few according to its own press (and remember too, the lie is always more than willing to expand into new areas). The lie proclaims superiority by saying the following:

A) I look better than you…I am leaner, longer, more shapely, muscular, fitter and stronger than you. The take home message here is you do not look as good as me therefore I am superior and you are inferior (somehow).

B) I am more attractive than you…people find me beautiful, handsome, gorgeous, sexy, hot, amazing, dreamy you get the idea. The take home message here is because I’m more attractive than you, you are less attractive than me, therefore I’m more worthy and important (somehow) and you’re not.

This, dear reader, is comparison. Did you know if all the beautiful people lived on the same Island, none of them would be beautiful, simply because there are no plain or “non-beautiful” people to compare to? Just like all the plain people living on an Island would feel beautiful simply because there’s no stunningly gorgeous “others” to compare against.

The lies existence is completely and utterly dependent upon comparison.

It needs you and I. It needs people.

Shit loads of dumb, gullible people.

…are you one of these fuckwits?


Here’s the lie: you must look like (insert fitness-model-slash-bodybuilder-here) this.

That’s it.

Sorry if you expected more because to be honest, there isn’t more.

The lie simply says you-must-look-a-certain-way to be considered attractive and sure, it’s natural and to varying degrees we all think along the same path, probably because we all share pretty much the same basis of what constitutes attractiveness — at least in our culture. But. The beauty and the ugliness of the lie is the many industries it has managed to capture and warp.

The lie is dominating social media.

It is monopolizing individual expression, self-acceptance and our ideas of beauty.

It has established itself within our own minds, like fucking google.

The lie is in the beauty industry…remember the stick-thin waifs of the early 2000s? The lie is in the fashion industry and most their shit is, well, shit. The lies is in the entertainment industry. It’s even in the automobile industry and an ever-widening circle of others falling prey to its deception (many of which overlap) and then there’s the fitness industry, where yours truly comes in.

The fitness industry sells itself on getting you “leaner, longer, more shapely, muscular, fitter and stronger than you currently are”. Ring a bell? You’ll feel better, be healthier — heaps healthier — live longer and be desired. The fitness industry even supports your being the best version of yourself, abs-so-fucking-glutely…as long as said “version” matches their version of course.

Because if it doesn’t.


That ain’t the go.

There’s no room for individuals here, buddy. You all either want to look like the above (I’m talking to you, men) or you don’t. You see, the lie espouses a certain look, a certain shape, a certain amount of “this” and a certain reduction of “that” and once you make the club, boom! You’re it, buddy, you have joined the elite. Even ugly people with great bodies can be beautiful!


You made it.

You’re perfect. You goddamn sexy biatch you! You can now compare yourself to all those average schmucks and come out smelling of roses, deep-heat, effort and well, maybe something found in THIS article. Females can look like our little lady friend below and know they are truly in the upper echelons of peak physical conditioning, desirability, you fucking name it. Winner!

Hand in hand with the lie comes all its many “nuances”, you know, things like supplements for example. There’s a whole supplement industry out there desperate for your dollar dickhead and hey, if you really are serious about being “all you can be” — i.e. what the lie determines you should be — then you’ll fork out your $$ till Jesus comes back to get there.

…you’re a good little puppy.

Ain’t you?

Yeah you fucking are!

Ladies, we both know you can’t really manage a work-out if you’re not wearing the latest spandex, brand, fitness-designer-bullshit and y’know what? You owe it to yourself because if you really are serious about being “all you can be” — i.e. what the lie determines you should be — then you’ll fork out your $$ till Jesus comes back to get there.

…you’re a good little puppy.

Ain’t you?

Yeah you fucking are!



Sorry if I’m sounding a wee bit bitter it’s just that I’ve come across so many neat men, women and young people with insecurities over things that really in the long run, don’t fucking matter. Yet the lie (YOU-MUST-LOOK-LIKE-THIS) is so dominant, so ever-present, so sacred and literally so over-whelming, that its destroying peoples’ lives.

…and adding to others. Let’s not kid ourselves: thousands of people have been blessed by improving their physical health and appearance and hey, that’s cool in fact, enormous props to the likes of zumba and crossfit especially, that have transformed people for the better. I get that. We all do and I’m not taking pot-shots at any of those outcomes.

I’m taking pot-shots at the idea that men have to be lean, shredded fitness models like slappy above. I’m taking pot-shots at the idea that women have to be lean, hard and shaped exactly like the above female fitness model as well. I mean no disrespect to either: they’ve worked hard to get where they are and hopefully they’re making $$ off it, living well and stroking their schnauzer.

Good on them…

(The dogs getting stroked, I mean).

But personally I find the torso of the above male fitness model repulsive. It reminds me, yet again, why I don’t want abs, just like the weird looking arm on the left here reminds me why I don’t want bicep peak. Can you believe bodybuilders want that?

Fuck “bicep peak”. That shit ain’t normal.

To me, “resistant training” is simply this: people opting to improve their health (mental, physical and spiritual) along with their physical appearance through weight-training and its many variations and spin-offs, without comparison or conformity to norms promoted as being the sole, authoritative measure.

No-one has a monopoly on what you should look like.

No-one has a monopoly on what beauty is or is not.

No-one can determine what your individual attractiveness is but you.

If you believe otherwise you’re either incredibly deceived or incredibly stupid.

…or possibly, you suffer a low self-esteem. I totally get that too. But. I have met some beautiful people with the most ugliest souls. I shit thee not. An actual ex of mine comes to mind: she was fucking gorgeous but with such a selfish, narcissistic personality. Do I miss her? Nah, mate. Not one bit. Which is why I ended it.

I mention this because if you honestly think looking a certain way is going to make you a “nicer” person or a “greater” person who shows integrity, dignity, graciousness, thankfulness, wisdom, perseverance and the like you’re dreaming. These don’t arrive from the outside in. They originate from the inside out and people of character develop these treasures.

Stop comparing yourself. Find your own way. Decide today what you will look at and why so you don’t end up looking at yourself in an increasingly negative manner. That is amazingly stupid. Life is short, stop fucking around. Copy and paste the above Serenity Prayer onto your desktop and memorize it.

Know thyself.

Lastly, if you don’t believe me, believe this: when you’re about to lose that patner you judged, condemned, blamed, and all the rest of the human shit we do, suddenly all those things don’t matter. Death is one hell of an equalizer. You and I are riding there at 100mph and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop that.

Do you want your friends — if you actually have any — to praise your character or your amazing body? Do you want those gathered at your funeral padre to wax lyrical about how many hours you spent in the gym or how many hours you spent living, laughing and loving with friends and family? Mate. Sort your fucking shit out.

Kia ora kotuou!