Bringing It All Back Home

America’s Greatest Export is Back in the States

My last night in Glasgow consisted of delivery pizza and Drag Race. This morning I woke up at 5:30 to Uber to the airport, and am feeling a little depressed about having to go home. I am however very excited for everyone else to come back (please come back). Our first flight to Toronto was delayed by an hour, and to even out my mom’s bad Karma with my good Karma, our connecting flight was also delayed. The flight was seven hours long and I slept for a cool (literally) five of them. I truly and genuinely believe it was my body going into hibernation because it could not have been warmer than 20 degrees.

the closest I’ll ever be to Greenland

We had to book it to our connection, but on the plane I got a pretty solid amount of the way into Hunter S. Thompson’s The Great Shark Hunt. I feel like it explains a lot about me that he’s one of my favorite authors. You can decide if that’s positive or negative, I guess. Our final flight, the eleventh hour, was sickening. And not in a good way, in a I was fully prepared to yak in the terminal motion sickness kind of way. But at least it was on time — even a little early, woo! Steve and Mason picked us up at the airport and we went to dinner. I decided that after eleven hours of travel, and a six hour time change, and a month without driving, it would be smart for me to drive home to Norman. I sincerely apologize to everyone who was on I-35 southbound around 7:30pm on July 25th. My bad. I did make it home, though. I proceeded to unpack, and immediately afterwards slept. I don’t plan on leaving the house until Friday.

Whither goes thou, America, in thy shiny car in the night? — H.S.T

I left the house. I ended up picking up a closing shift at work on the 26th. I figured it would be good to wrap up my month abroad with something larger than a play by play of my last day, and a Hunter S. Thompson quote. So, here goes. My freshman year — really since junior year of high school — was pretty rough, and really isolating. I don’t suppose I have anyone to blame but myself on that front, but nonetheless it was not great. I went into this fully expecting to go it alone, and not really talk to anyone, or only to do so briefly without anything coming from it. I had resolved that I’d be solo for the trip, and solo for who knows how long, because that’s the way it had been for a solid few years prior. My freshman year also saw the disappearance of my depression, and replaced it with some pretty severe anxiety, but I figured that was okay, and convinced myself that my isolation was okay too because I was busy or I had homework, or I had two jobs, or I just didn’t really like socializing, and who really ends up liking me anyway when I do? But June block blew all of that out of the water. Everyone I met was so nice, and genuine, and I felt so amazed that I could hang out with people, and have them reciprocate any friendship. And in Oxford it only got better. I’m still a little in shock at how much I miss everyone, even though it’s only been a week, and most of them come back on the 28th. I don’t really know how to express how I feel right now, or did on the trip, or will when classes start up again, but I feel like the people I’ve met on this trip are true and genuine friends. Which is something that I haven’t really had in a minute. I’m also trying not to put too much weight on the situation. Because I don’t really know what’s going to happen, and as much as I hope we can all hang out, I don’t want to be a bother, and I always end up feeling like a bother. I don’t really have any “Europe changed me” things to say, because I don’t think it did. I only think that maybe it gave me the opportunity to be more myself. And I’m really grateful for that. I’ve had an incredible time during this program, and am so lucky to have been a part of it. I try not to get too personal or emotional, just in general, but I don’t have anything quippy to end this with. So I’m just going to end it. This summer has been an absolute dream.

P.S. I wish you would’ve put yourself in my suitcase 💗