Day 499

Did religious prayers in the morning went to office.

Before going to office I was in complete romantic mood with my wife and got intimate and then left to office.

Went to office party in the afternoon

Went really down in the party seeing girls drinking and loosing their control and puking etc.

Things started hitting me in the head.

I started thinking even my girl might have drunk like this.

I knew she smooched one guy from her office after party in his car.

This started troubling me. I said to her I am really low.

Then lost control of myself and started asking her that you were drinking in office party and you also use to loose control etc.

It was very difficult for me inside me. I felt like killing myself. But no 499 days more to die. I will survive.

I am a guy who do not drink or smoke and I do not even dance with girls in the party.

But the one I am married to has drunk in parties and she use to go to pubs and get drunk.

She even met a guy in one of the pubs and even after knowing the guy was married she had slept with him naked. These things trouble me up every now and then.

She started kind of ignoring my questions these days. I don’t know what the hell to do…

I talked to one of her friends who is kinda close to me who says she is going to help me. But after marriage I sense she is kind of saying things to me as if I am a wrong person.

She even felt like I am like the ass holes who run behind girls for fuck. But no I am not that person. I have never done it and never do it.

I am literally fucked up in my life.

I want to die.