Personal fight

I am 31 years old, having a devoted lover who deeply cares about me and a stable job which is merely two stops of subway and one-stop of bus away from where I live. Yet I am not satisfied with the status quo of my life.

It all started with a trip to San Francisco which subverted my views and is still shaking my innermost tranquility. After coming back, I started to think about moving there. The question is in which way. However options are not abundant. The most probable one (also the legitimate) is to pursue a colleague degree, then find a job there.

Now I am actually doing it. I am preparing for the GRE test, which appears as the first huge challenge towards my whole quest. I am not from an English speaking country so that only the building of vocabulary thing makes me feel bilious already…But still, I made it. Around 7000 new English words particularly for the test are now in my head, at least half of which will possibly never be used. However, It’s only the baseline. In addition to vocabulary lie reading comprehension and analytical writing. I find myself not a competitive contestant in reading comprehension of this test. It contains passages which are compressed and condensed in a vague and complicated manner from some academic periodicals or sources. Not only are they hard to understand, but also the time is very limited to absorb the contents and then answer the questions attached. I have been trying everything to read as much as I can during the past five months to get accustomed to English literature on various subjects. Looks I need to work harder.

Later while taking a break from the exacting test preparation, I realized something interesting that never occurred to me before, which is I actual have done many things voluntarily that in the past I wouldn’t bother to do at all. To name a few, I hated history in high school, yet my major in college had been history, though I changed it to German studies later; I though I would turn down the job offer from the company where I worked as intern, then four years later I scrambled to join it; I swore I would never take any exam except for those requested by school, however I took IELTS two and half years ago and I am doing GRE now, TOEFL to follow. On one hand, I am surprised to know that I am actually capable of taking all the challenges, while on the other hand, you really don’t know what you are gonna get next. So now, everything may be possible to me. Never say never.

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