I feel like a complete outsider in spring

I feel I don’t belong here right now

I am an unwelcome guest

And that makes me feel very scared

Never tell a suicidal med student they need to buy scalpels.

It would be so easy.

That part of me that I miss the most is buried beneath the debris of my heartbreak. The dust is in my nose and I can hardly breathe. I can’t see anything through the ruins. I’m just lying here underneath and thinking. I can still remember the collapse; my heart, magnificent as a Roman cathedral…

(in slovene)

Danes sem med svojo sedmo cigareto po vrsti opazila, da ima le-ta prijeten okus po zelenjavi oz. zeliščnem čaju. Zazdela se mi je blagodejna.

»It’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you …« Jaz in benzodiazepini. Občutek…

The one thing I want most in my life is for someone to hug me very tightly and not let go for a very very very long time. Someone whose arms would feel like coming home from a long trip out in the cold.