I understand the pain you carry for being judged on your appearance and you're free to keep writing about how mean others are for not accepting your fatness, but … this wont change a thing. Ever. The only thing you have control over is what you are and what you do with your life. Here’s a “tough love” factoid: fat women will never be considered attractive to men any more than out-of-work homeless men would ever be attractive to women. And yes, it’s the same thing. Attraction is non-negotiable and each gender has it’s requirements. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can begin your recovery.