How to Deal With Toxic People
Friends can be amazing. You will come across many people in your lifetime who seem like great people and most of them will be. However, as time goes on, some of them will reveal themselves to be toxic, narcissistic, gossips. If you’ve come to the realization that your friend is not a very good person, use some of the tips below to help you deal with them.
1. Realize That Their Behavior Is Not Your Fault
Toxic people are called toxic people for a reason. They seek to manipulate others and put others down. If they are placing blame on you, treating you poorly, or gossiping behind your back, know that it is not your fault. They are acting this way either because they are trying to take advantage of you or they are threatened by you. You can prevent this by showing them that you won’t let them blame you or manipulate you. Know your own self-worth and then let them know that as well.
2. Ignore Them
Toxic people are most often attention-seekers who are highly insecure. They will do everything in their power to get in your face. Instead of giving them the attention that they’re craving, ignore them. This will drive them crazy and they will have to eventually address the situation. It doesn’t mean that they are going to take responsibility for their behavior but it does mean that they will have to listen to you at some point in time.
3. Don’t Allow Them to Gossip
Be on your best behavior at all times and be the better person during every encounter with the toxic person. Toxic people will gossip about you and will often spread rumors to other people that you know that are not true. If you are a good person, it will eventually be proven that their rumors and their gossips are untrue. If you hear that they have been gossiping about you to other people, quickly let the people that they have gossiped to that what the toxic person has shared with them is not true.
4. Don’t Trust Them
Toxic people will stab you in the back faster than you could blink. If you are currently in a relationship or a friendship with a toxic person and you can’t get out of it, choose not to grow closer to them or confide in them. By doing this, you are sending the message that you are not interested in getting to know them further and you will also not give them any information that they could use to put you down later on.
5. Realize That You Can’t Change Them
Toxic people are often set in their ways. It will take more than a miracle to change them and the only person who can alter their behavior is them. Realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do to change their behavior. No matter how nice you are or how much positive attention you choose to send their way, they will continue to be negative and act poorly towards you. Don’t waste your time or your energy on these people.
6. Refuse Their Love
Toxic people will often give love or attention for one reason only, because they need something from you. Don’t accept any type of attention that they are giving to you or you will eventually be required to do a favor for them in return. Once you’ve accepted this attention, they will continue to guilt you into doing things for them because of all the things that they’ve done for you. If you are already stuck in this cycle, stop accepting their attention and gifts even if it means that more drama will be created. It’s better to stop the cycle than to get trapped in the storm.
7. Conceal Any Type of Emotion
Toxic people feed off the emotions of others, especially negative emotions. Instead of reacting too strong or being timid, act as though you have no emotions. Approach every situation with apathy and show to them that they have no power to make you overreact or under-react. Once you’ve taken all their power away from them, all they can do is try to regain power over you unsuccessfully.
8. Refuse the Blame
When you are dealing with someone who is toxic, they will take the opportunity to blame you and everyone around them instead of accepting the blame for situations that they put themselves in. Ignore their blame or let them know that they are responsible for their own actions or for their own situation. They may not accept the fact that they are the cause of their problems, but they will accept that they can’t put blame on you and that you will not accept that blame.
9. Assistance Equals Persistence
If you give any sort of help to a toxic person when they expect you to give it to them, they will continue to ask for such help. They will drain you of all of your resources and your energy until you have nothing left to give them and then they will continue to take. Toxic people are great at demanding help and are also great at getting it if you don’t set boundaries for yourself. If you know that someone is toxic, say no and save yourself the trouble of getting roped into the drama of their personal lives.
10. Expect Trouble
Those who seek to make your life hell will not go down without a fight when you reject them from your life. They will throw all of their anger, mistakes, and resentment at you and they will do so in a way that will be highly uncomfortable. Although they may do this, standing your ground and refusing to give into their tantrums will help you later down the road when they finally realize that the battle with you can’t be won.
It may be difficult to act “unkind” to a toxic person but it is absolutely necessary if you are seeking peace and happiness in your life. Toxic people do not act like normal people and they should not be treated as such. Make use of these 10 tips if you find yourself caught in the web of a toxic person.