You can’t choose who you love or don’t love.
Kenneth Lynch

I disagree. I’ve been married for a dozen or so years and every day I wake up and make the choice to love this man. He fucks up and I choose to love him; he does something kind for me and the choice to love him is an easy one; he stands there doing absolutely nothing remarkable in a room full of other options and I choose to love him. Some days, some moments, the choice is mostly habit it’s so automatic; other times, it’s a very conscious thing.

And yes, when we were dating I made the determination that he was a person I could continue to choose to love. Feelings developed based on who we were and what we did together, but that’s not what makes a long-term relationship: the act of loving someone is what gets you through the times when the feelings dry up or get overwhelmed by outside stresses.

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