Nerd is a Verb

Nerd — (v) to apply unwelcome logics, such as mathematics or metallurgy

: to bring to a premature end (as in a conversation) through the use of logics [1]

: to render useless or unenjoyable through overapplication of such logics [2]

: to tarnish or taint (as with a moment) with the memory of the overapplication of such logics.


[1] ME: (talking with a crested breeder about her latest litter) So both of them carried the puff gene and just decided to gift it to every single pup in the litter. What are the odds?
 BREEDER: I know, right?
 HIM: Thousand to one
 ME: …
 HIM: You asked about the odds. It’s one in a thousand
 ME: …
 HIM: Actually, it’s one in one thousand twenty four
 ME: They’re PUPPIES
 HIM: AND they’re NUMBERS
 ME: …
 HIM: Genetics!
 ME: … I can’t believe you just nerded all over five innocent puppies


[2] ME: I don’t know, it just tastes different when it comes out of a can.
 HIM: It’s an effect of the oxidation-
 ME: Seriously? It’s not enough that you nerded all over those poor puppies, you have to nerd on this now?
 HIM: You said, ‘what are the odds?’
 ME: That’s just something you say, it’s not an actual question you expect people to answer. It’s like, ‘who would do such a thing?’
 HIM: An engineer.
 ME: I WASN’T ASKING, THAT’S JUST ANOTHER ONE.


Originally published at actualconversationswithmyhusband.com on June 6, 2016.

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